很短的英語小笑話短文

　　笑話的根本功能在於引人發笑,在這個使人緊張而倍感壓抑的商品經濟時代,笑話成了撫慰人焦灼靈魂的一劑良藥。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：美國老羊

　　A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.

　　She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?"

　　A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

　　一群美國人乘長途汽車在荷蘭旅遊。他們在一個乳酪場停下來。一位年輕的導遊帶他們參觀了乳酪製作的全過程，解釋說用的是羊奶。 她指給這群人一個美麗的山坡，山坡上許多羊在吃草。對這些，她解釋說，是放逐草地的老羊，它們已不能再產奶。她然後問道：“在美國你們怎樣處理老羊呢?”

　　一位活潑的老紳士回答說：“他們讓我們乘車旅行!”

　　：What Was It She Wanted?

　　A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon.” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?” “Rain.” said the clerk.

　　一個商店經理聽見一個店員對顧客說：“不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。”經理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說：“當然，馬上就會有的。我們上週訂了貨。”然後經理把店員拉到一邊：“千萬，千萬，千萬不要說我們沒有什麼——說我們已經訂了貨，貨馬上就到。現在你說她要買什麼?” “雨，”店員說。

　　：問問你自己的吧

　　Ask Your OwnIt was a cold，raw day at Washington.Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor.The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius.Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question，the urchin would make anaptreply.They sallied forth. “What time is it，Bub?They tell me you can tell time by your nose，”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met. “Ask your own，mister，mine ain't run nin’，”was the reply.

　　這是華盛頓的一個陰冷天。錢普·克拉克正和一個來訪的英國人討論城市的流浪兒，英國人詳細地敘述著倫敦式天才的機智。克拉克宣稱，要是對方向華盛頓街上任何一個兒童提任何問題，那孩子都會對答如流。他們便出發了。 “什麼時候了，小兄弟?人們說你能用鼻子報時。” 回答是：“先生，問問你自己的吧，的不在走呢。”

　　：Sunday Class

　　Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

　　One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"

　　When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

　　"God Almighty !" shouted Mary.

　　The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

　　A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber.

　　Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

　　"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary.

　　The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

　　Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

　　Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"