超簡單英語笑話

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。本文是超簡單經典英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　超簡單經典英語笑話篇一

　　James was walking down the road one morning when he met his friend Danny.

　　"Morning, Danny. Er ... Danny, you're wearing a glove on one hand and none on the other. Did you know?"

　　"Yes, well I heard the weather forecast this morning, you see."

　　"The Weather forecast?"

　　"Yes, the weather forecast. the forecaster said on the one hand it might be fine but on the other hand there might be some rain."

　　***Cantonese students have problems with "on the other hand" because there is a similar expression in Cantonese that means "in addition". This joke helps highlight the contrast implied.***

　　Submitted by Dick Tibbetts, Macau

　　超簡單經典英語笑話篇二

　　This worked fine with my level 200a on up.

　　A man got a parrot which could already talk. It had belonged to a sailor and had a big vocabulary. However, the man soon discovered that the parrot mostly know bad words. At first he thought it was funny, but then it became tiresome, and finally, when the man had important guests, the bird's bad words embarrassed him very much.

　　As soon as the guests left, the man angrily shouted at the parrot,"That language must stop!". But the bird answered him with curses. He shook the bird and shouted again, "Don't use those ugly words!" Again the bird cursed him.

　　Now the man was really angry. He grabbed the parrot and threw him into the refrigerator. But it had no effect. From inside the refrigerator,the parrot was still swearing. He opened the door and took him out, and again the bird spoke in dirty words and curses. This time, the man opened the door of the freezer , threw the bird into it, and closed the door.

　　This time there was silence. After two minutes, the man opened the door and removed the very cold parrot. Slowly the shivering parrot walked up the man's arm, sat on his shoulder and spoke into his ear, sounding very frightened:

　　"I'll be good, I promise...Those chickens in there.. what did they say?"

　　Submitted by Peggy Datz

　　超簡單經典英語笑話篇三

　　I think this joke is funny and so far, all of my intermediate to advanced ESL classes have agreed with me.

　　A duck walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender.

　　The bartender says "What can I get you?"

　　Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?

　　Bartender ***looking surprised and finding the question odd***:

　　No, I'm afraid we don't.

　　And the duck waddles slowly out of the bar.

　　The next day at the same time, the duck waddles into the bar, hops up on a bar stool.

　　Bartender: Hi. What can I get for you?

　　Duck: Umm. Do you have any grapes?

　　Bartender ***a little annoyed***: Hey! Weren't you in here yesterday. Look buddy, we don't have any grapes. OK?

　　The duck hops off the stool and waddles out the door.

　　The next day, at the same time, the bartender is cleaning some glasses when he hears a familiar voice

　　Duck: Umm.. Do you have any grapes?

　　The bartender is really ticked off.

　　Bartender: Look. What's your problem? You came in here yesterday asking for grapes, I TOLD you, WE DON'T HAVE ANY GRAPES!! Next time I see your little ducktail waddle in here I'm going to nail those little webbed feet of yours to the floor. GOT me pal?

　　And the duck hops off the bar stool and waddles out.

　　The NEXT day at the same time, the duck waddles into the bar, walks up to the bartender and the bartender says,

　　"What the heck do YOU want?"

　　Umm. do you have any nails?

　　What!? OF course not.

　　Oh. Well, do you have any grapes?

　　I taught my students waddle, webbed feet but you could teach What the heck do you want, pal, barkeep, bartender, etc

　　It is also good to review "any"