關於爆笑的簡單英語笑話

　　交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Do You Know Your Monkey?

　　A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.

　　He takes his first sip and sets it down.

　　While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.

　　The man asks the barman, "Who owns the monkey?"

　　The barman replies, "The piano player."

　　The man walks over to the piano player and says, "Do you know your monkey stole my beer."

　　The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."

　　：Not Your Mama's Chili

　　A young cowboy walks into the town cafe. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

　　After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

　　The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."

　　Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning in it with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl.

　　The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."

　　：What's the Weather?

　　It was already late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation In South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

　　Since he was a chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

　　Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

　　But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

　　"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the Weather Service responded.

　　So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

　　A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

　　"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

　　The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

　　Two weeks later the chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

　　"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen."

　　"How can you be so sure?" the chief asked.

　　The weatherman replied, "Because the Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."