關於超級搞笑的英語笑話

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Did You Know Him?

　　At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater***母校，校歌*** . One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal.

　　"I sure was!" answered the host. "He's the biggest jerk I've ever met. Did you know him too?"

　　"Sort of," replied the guest. "My mother married him last Saturday."

　　：Organization Plan of the Future

　　The exec***執行，主任參謀*** was making a presentation to the company board: "Computers have allowed us to cut costs," he explained. "We expect even more dramatic improvements as computers become increasingly self-sufficient." He unveiled***公開，揭幕*** a large chart showing a man, a dog, and a computer. "Here is our organization plan of the future." "What kind of plan is that?" demanded a board member. "It's simple," replied the exec. "The man's job is to feed the dog. The dog's job is to bite the man if he touches the computer."

　　：Quick Reaction

　　My battery commander***連長*** and I were interviewing candidates for a position asreconnaissance***偵測，勘探*** sergeant in our artillery***火炮，大炮*** unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight, plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview, the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant, "Can you see that hill over there?"

　　"Yes, sir." he replied.

　　"Can you see the radio antenna***天線，觸角*** on that hill?" Again, the soldier said that he could. "Well, then," the commander went on, "Can you see that bird sitting on the antenna?"

　　The sergeant leaned forward and squinted***斜視*** . "No, sir," he said, "but I can hear it is singing."

　　He got the job.

　　：Patience

　　A wealthy matron***主婦*** is so proud of a valuable antique***古老的*** vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric***古怪的，反常的*** woman.

　　Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.

　　Years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. "Dad," says the son, "there's something I've got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"

　　"Son," the father replies, "I painted the vase."

　　：Napoleon was ill

　　Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

　　"He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."

　　"No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!"

　　"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

　　拿破崙病了

　　傑克到一所大學去學歷史。第一學期結束時，歷史課教授沒讓他及格，校讓他退學。然而，傑克的父親決定去見教授，強烈要求讓傑克繼續來年的學業。

　　“他是個好孩子，”傑克的父親說，“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會有很大進步，學期結束時，他一定會考好的。”

　　“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答，“你知道嗎?上個月我問他拿破崙什麼時候死的，他都不知道。”

　　“先生，請再給他一次機會吧。”傑克的父親說，“你不知道，恐怕是因為我們家沒有訂報紙，我們家的人連拿破崙病了都不知道。”