有關於超級搞笑的英語笑話

　　在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：High Hopes

　　A Father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he

　　wants to be when he grows up?"

　　"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector." he replies

　　To this his friend responds "Strange ambition to have for a career."

　　"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

　　：Clues That You Should Get Offline

　　You name your children Eudora, Hyperlink and dotcom.

　　You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

　　You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overheadcompartment.

　　You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

　　You laugh at people with 28.8-baud modems.

　　You start using smileys in your snail mail.

　　You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor

　　You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

　　You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem.

　　You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

　　You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.

　　You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

　　You tell the cab driver you live at

　　After reading this joke, you immediately forward it to a thousand of your closest friends.

　　：Ficticious Characters

　　Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

　　：Misinterpretatione

　　Two nuns decide they're going to sneak out of the convent and have a real night on the town. They hit all the bars and dance clubs, and decide they've finally got to head back to the convent.

　　To enter the convent's grounds they have to crawl under some barbed wire. The nuns start crawling under the wire on their bellies.

　　As they're crawling under the wire, the first nun turns to the second and says, "I feel like amarine."

　　The second replies, "Yeah, me too, but where can you find one this time of night?"

　　：The Deaf Mafia Collector

　　The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job--if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.

　　Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.

　　The mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."

　　The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"

　　The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."

　　The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

　　The hood pulls out a .38 pistol and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW ask him where da money is."

　　The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"

　　The deaf man signs, "The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate."

　　The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about and doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger!"