節日經典英語笑話

　　聖誕節英語笑話故事

　　A half-eaten egg was a result it becomes a leftover egg! I wish Merry Christmas

　　一個雞蛋被吃剩半邊，結果它變成了剩蛋!預祝聖誕快樂

　　The thief and the judge

　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

　　法官與小偷

　　那天是聖誕節，法官在審訊犯人時也有點惻隱之心。“你為什麼而被起訴?”他問。

　　“採購聖誕節物品過早。”被告答。

　　“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早?”

　　在商店開門之前，“犯人應道。

　　Jesus's Telly

　　A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.

　　"But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.

　　"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.

　　耶穌的電視機

　　聖誕節時孩子要了紙和蠟筆，想畫一張耶穌誕生像。最後這件藝術品被陳列出來供父母鑑賞。

　　他們對耶穌誕生後睡的馬槽，牧羊人，耶穌及其家庭都逐一表示讚賞。

　　“可是那個角落裡是什麼?”媽媽問。

　　“噢，那是他們的電視機，”孩子回答說。

　　What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

　　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

　　聖誕老人喜歡在花園裡做什麼?

　　答案：鋤地。***英文裡Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是聖誕老人的笑聲。***

　　On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

　　聖誕節前夕，聖誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高階飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時看到地上有一張新臺幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會將它撿起?

　　答案：當然是聖誕老人啦!為什麼?因為大家都知道另外兩者並不存在。

　　英語：If you have not received my Christmas present, it has to be because of - your socks have a big hole! Bu Bu it fast! !中文：如果你今天沒收到我的聖誕禮物，那一定是因為--你的襪子有個大洞! 快補補吧!!

　　英語：a few days later I heard that you want to have eggs, that true? That I wish you lay eggs ***Christmas*** Happy! In a few days you have to Egg's full moon, I also wish you a round ahead of eggs ***New Year's Day*** Happy! Send

　　中文：聽說你過幾天要生個蛋,真的嗎?那我得祝你生蛋***聖誕***快樂!再過幾天***又要滿月,那麼我就也提前祝你圓蛋***元旦***快樂! 傳送

　　英語：I wish to Santa Claus on Christmas Eve: I hope that no matter how bad your feet, wear socks when tomorrow morning, I'll give you receive the full blessing, the warmth of your heart and feet ㄚ子!

　　中文：平安夜我向聖誕老人許願：希望不管你腳多麼臭，明早當穿起襪子時，能收到我給你的滿滿的祝福，溫暖你的心和腳ㄚ子!

　　愚人節經典英語笑話

　　1. Why are people tired on April Fool's Day? ***愚人節人們為什麼疲倦?***

　　答：Because they have just had a long March. *** 因為他們剛過了長長的三月。March 三月;行軍***

　　2.What weather do mice and rats fear? ***老鼠害怕什麼天氣?***

　　答：When it's raining cats and dogs.***下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 ***

　　3.When do dogs refuse to follow their masters? ***狗什麼時候不願跟隨主人?***

　　答：When their masters go to the flea market.***主人去跳蚤市場時。Flea 跳蚤 flea market 舊貨市場 ***

　　4.What question can never be answered by “yes”? ***哪個問題永遠不能回答“是的”?***

　　答：Are you asleep? ***你睡著了嗎***

　　5.What tree is always very sad? ***哪種樹總是很傷心?***

　　答：Weeping willow. *** 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳樹***

　　6.When can you get water with a net? ***什麼時候可以用網兜裝水?***

　　答：When water is turned into ice. ***當水結成冰時***

　　7.Why is the pig always eating?豬為什麼沒完沒了地吃?

　　答：He's making a hog of himself.它想成為一隻肉豬。

　　8.What's the longest word in the world?世界上最長的單詞是什麼?

　　答：Smiles. Because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因為兩個字母S中間隔了一里。

　　9.What question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什麼問題你只能回答“yes”?

　　答："What does y-e-s spell?" ***當別人問你***“yes”怎麼拼?

　　10.Where were you when the power was cut off? 當停電的時候你在哪?

　　答：In the darkness. 在黑暗中