經典英語笑話大全爆笑死人

　　最早以專章記述“笑話藝人”事蹟的是漢代司馬遷的《史記。滑稽列傳》,最早的笑話專集為三國邯鄲淳的《笑林》。下面是小編帶來的爆笑死人英語笑話大全，歡迎閱讀!

　　爆笑死人英語笑話大全

　　***一***

　　那告訴我剛才我說的什麼

　　Teacher: Jack, why aren't you listening?

　　老師：傑克，你為什麼不認真聽課?

　　Jack: But, teacher, I'm listening.

　　傑克：老師，我正在聽課呀!

　　Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.

　　老師：如果你剛才在聽課，那告訴我剛才我說的什麼。

　　Jack: You said, "Jack, why aren't you listening

　　傑克：您說的是：“傑克，你為什麼不認真聽課?”

　　***二***

　　我就是豆豆 I am Peas

　　Access to a reporter to go to the North Pole 100 penguins. He asked the first penguins to his usual interest is. The first penguin says: eat, sleep, play Peas. Puzzled reporter asked to say what is playing Peas ah? Bird Penguin said nothing and left.

　　一位記者要去北極訪問100只企鵝.。他就問第一隻企鵝他平時的興趣是什麼。第一隻企鵝說：吃飯、睡覺、打豆豆。 記者疑惑的問說什麼是打豆豆啊?那隻企鵝沒說什麼就走了。

　　The reporter thought: Well, do not speak do not speak. He also visited the second penguins usually interested in what it is. The second penguin says: eat, sleep, play Peas. Pound, how is playing? Reporters and thinking to himself.

　　那位記者想：好吧，不講就不講。他又訪問第二隻企鵝它平時的興趣是什麼。第二隻企鵝說：吃飯、睡覺、打豆豆。怎麼又是打咚咚?記者在心裡嘀咕著。

　　One after another from access to the first 99 penguins to their usual interest in penguins are “eating, sleeping, playing Peas.” Until the 100 penguins. He said you asked the usual interests? 100 penguins: eat, sleep. Journalists find it very strange and asked it: “how do you do not play Peas?” 100 penguins: “Because I’m Peas ah.”

　　接二連三的從訪問第一隻企鵝到第99只企鵝它們平時的興 趣都是“吃飯、睡覺、打豆豆”。直到第100只企鵝。記者問他說你平時的興趣是什麼? 第100只企鵝：吃飯、睡覺。 記者覺得很奇怪，便問它：“你怎麼不打豆豆呢?” 第100只企鵝：“因為我就是豆豆啊。”

　　爆笑死人英語笑話大全欣賞

　　***一***

　　Born with a tash! This pup bears a striking resemblance to author Agatha Christie's detective

　　Hercule Poirot!

　　生下來就有小鬍子!這隻小汪星人長得極像偵探小說家阿加莎·克里斯蒂筆下的偵探赫爾克里·波洛。

　　This pup has become an internet sensation thanks to his incredible facial markings.

　　這隻小狗因為臉上特別的印記，在網上迅速躥紅。

　　Just six months old, he has really grown into the hairy-upper lip look which lends him great

　　authority as he eyeballs the camera.

　　這隻小狗只有六個月大，它的上嘴脣已經長上了厚厚的毛茸茸的八字鬍，這可讓這隻小汪星人賺足了眼球。

　　It is unclear where he is from or exactly what breed he is, but there is no mistaking the

　　similarity between him and author Agatha Christie's effete Belgian detective Hercule Poirot,

　　known the world over for that handlebar moustache.

　　人們還不清楚它到底從哪裡來，是什麼品種，但是可以肯定的是：它長得和阿加莎·克里斯蒂筆下的比利時偵探

　　赫爾克里·波洛非常像，這位比利時偵探就是以那一撇小鬍子而舉世聞名的。

　　The white markings appear on the dog's head, each of his four paws, his chest area and

　　the very tip of his tail.

　　在這隻汪星人的頭上四個爪子上、胸口和它的尾巴尖兒上都有白色的印記。

　　The 'houndlebar' moustache gives the dog an austere look that betrays his six months.

　　這撇八字鬍有點顯老了，這隻狗狗明明才六個月大。

　　經典的爆笑死人英語笑話大全

　　***一***

　　你等著發工資吧 Wait for your salary

　　If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.

　　如果你感到孤獨，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要擁抱，我做你的枕頭。

　　If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...wait f

　　***二***

　　為什麼沒有牡蠣 Perhaps Not

　　Customer: Waiter, I can't find any oysters in this oyster stew.

　　顧客：服務員，我這個牡蠣燉菜裡怎麼沒有牡蠣?

　　Waiter: Well, you wouldn't expect to find any angels in an angel food cake, would you?

　　服務員：是啊，你不會指望在天使蛋糕裡發現天使吧?