爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯總有你喜歡的
笑話是內容豐富並具有出乎意料結尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領域,其中包括政治笑話、經濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關於民族性格的笑話等。小編分享爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ，希望可以幫助大家!
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：an absent-minded professor 健忘教授
No doubt about it, my fellow monk, Father Martin, was a bit of an absent-minded professor. He often filled in for sick priests at other parishes, and one Saturday he found himself on a train to a new destination, frantically searching his pockets for his ticket. "Forget about it, Father," said the conductor, recognizing him as a regular. "I'm sure you paid for a ticket." "I can't forget about the ticket," Father Martin replied nervously. "I need to know where I'm going."
毫無疑問，我的同事、Martin神父是個有點健忘的教授。他經常到別的教區給生病的牧師替班。一個週六，他又坐火車出發了，但到驗票時，他卻怎麼都找不著放在衣服口袋裡面的火車票。因為老坐火車，列車員認得教授，因此對他說，“不用找了，我想你肯定已經買過票了。”“我得把票找出來”，Martin神父不安地回答。“我得弄清楚我是要去哪”。
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：哪有人能彎腰彎那麼低的啊?
How could anyone stoop so low?
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
我們的餐廳經理是一位深受大家愛戴，和藹而又快樂的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者，我應該說，他是有點矮!一天，經理怒氣衝衝地撞門而入，高聲說，
“有人拿了我的錢包!”
我和其她大部女招待都沒敢吱聲，但有人卻蹦出一句話：
“哪有人能彎腰彎那麼低的啊”!
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：Shave head 刮頭
Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. "Eight dollars," I answered. "And for a shave?" "Five dollars." "All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head."
前些日子，有一男的來到我的理髮店，問剪一個頭要多少錢。
“八美元，”我告訴他。
“那，刮次鬍子呢?”
“五美元”。
“那行”，那男的邊說邊坐到了理髮椅上，“來，給我刮刮頭吧”。
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：Speeding 超速
Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."
因為旅行推銷員為了謀生需要拜訪儘量多的客戶，所以超速飛車趕場對於他們來說也不是沒有過的事情。有一次我就因為超速度行駛被一個公路巡警攔了下來。“你有沒有看過你的時速表?”那名警官責問。當我的回答一出口，我立刻後悔了，但已經太晚了。“車開得越來越快”，我如實地說，“我的眼睛得一直盯著前面，沒敢看別的”。
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：一睡醒，你就被炒魷魚了
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."
我的同事有好幾小時不見人了。我們瘋了地到處找他。最後老闆發現，他正在睡大覺。沒叫醒他，老闆悄無聲息地在我的同事的胸前放了個紙條。“睡覺時”，條上寫著，“你是我的員工，醒來你就不是了。”