西方的擁抱文化
擁抱對於一些人來說是溫馨的感情表達,但並非所有人都能接受這種親密的肢體接觸。接下來,小編給大家準備了,歡迎大家參考與借鑑。
We Chinese are not big huggers. A handshake or a pat on the shoulder is enough to convey our friendship or affection to one another. So when our newly-acquainted Western friends reach out in preparation for a hug, some of us feel awkward.
我們中國人並不怎麼喜歡擁抱。握手或者是拍拍肩膀就足以表達人們相互之間的友誼和感情了。當新結識的老外朋友伸出雙臂想要給我們一個擁抱時,很多人都面露難色。
Many questions go through our head. Where should I put my arms? Under their armpits or around their neck? What distance should I maintain? Should our chests touch?
我們腦海中浮現出許多問號。擁抱時手臂應該放在什麼位置?是對方的肋下,還是繞頸緊擁?應保持怎樣的距離?是否要零距離擁抱?
It’s even more difficult with friends from some European countries. Should I kiss them on the cheek while hugging? Which side? Or is it both cheeks? Which side should I start on?
跟從歐洲國家來的朋友接觸會難上加難。是不是應該在擁抱時報以“吻臉禮”呢?應該親吻哪一邊,還是吻兩頰?如果是後者,那麼應該從哪一邊開始呢?
But it isn’t just people from cultures that emphasize a reservedness in expressing physical intimacy who find hugging confusing. Hugs can cause discomfort or even distress in people who value their personal space.
然而擁抱這種肢體接觸方式並不只是令那些文化背景相對保守的人們感到為難,同時也會為那些注重私人空間的人們帶來不適,甚至是苦惱。
In a recent article for The Wall Street Journal, US psychologist Peggy Drexler said that although the US remains a “medium touch” culture — “more physically demonstrative than Japan, where a bow is the all-purpose hello and goodbye, but less demonstrative than Latin or Eastern European cultures, where hugs are robust and can include a kiss on both cheeks”, Americans do seem to be hugging more.
在《華爾街日報》近期的一篇報道中,美國心理學家佩吉•德雷克斯勒指出,儘管美國仍在奉行“適度接觸”的文化,但相對於通過一個鞠躬就能用來問好和道別的日本來說,美國人“更喜歡用身體接觸表達感情”;但是比起拉丁和東歐文化裡有力的擁抱和“吻兩頰禮”,美國人似乎擁抱得越來越多了。
From politicians to celebrities, hugs are given willy-nilly to friends, strangers and enemies alike; and the public has been quick to pick up the practice.
從政要到名流,無論情願與否,都會向朋友、陌生人、甚至是敵人送上擁抱。而公眾也緊追潮流,紛紛模仿。
Public figures know that nothing projects likeability like a good hug. US First Lady Michelle Obama has put her arms around icy foreign leaders like Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev and the Queen of England, on the latter occasion breaching royal protocol.
公眾人物深知沒什麼能比一個誠意十足的擁抱更能展現親和力了。美國第一夫人米歇爾•奧巴馬就曾擁抱過俄羅斯總理德米特里•梅德韋傑夫、英國女王這些不苟言笑的外國政要,儘管擁抱女王有觸犯王室規矩之嫌。
Pop superstar Lady Gaga is also a hug enthusiast, telling her fans that “I will always, always, try my very best to wrap my arms around you when I meet you.”
流行天后Lady Gaga也十分熱衷擁抱。她對歌迷說:“如果有機會與你們見面,我一定會盡自己所能,給你們溫暖的擁抱。”
But not all are grateful to be embraced, even by the most influential and famous. To them, any hug is offensive if it’s not sincere.
但是,即便是接受了最具影響力的名流的擁抱,也並非所有人都會心懷感激。對於他們而言,不真誠的擁抱反而是一種冒犯。
Amanda Hess, writing for US magazine Slate, says public figures should stop imposing hugs on everyone they meet. For them, a hug is rarely a gesture of sincere fellowship, compassion or affection. It’s all part of a show. Hugs are falsely intimate power plays used by public figures to establish their social dominance over those in their grasp.
來自美國《Slate》雜誌的作家阿曼達•赫斯就曾表示,公眾人物應該避免“見人就抱”的行為。他們的擁抱鮮少透出友誼、同情等真摯情感,僅僅是作秀而已。擁抱錯誤地演變成公眾人物一種營造親和力的“權力秀”,以便鞏固自己的陣營。
Cecilia Walden, a British journalist writing for The Telegraph who lives in New York, holds the same opinion. “Power-hugging”, as she calls it, is “an assault dressed up as kindness”. It has become a fad in the US where “bosses are already cuddling their staff either shortly before or after firing them, [and] men and women their frenemies, in a thousand fraudulent displays of solidarity”.
生活在紐約的《每日電訊報》記者、英國人塞西莉亞•瓦爾登也贊同阿曼達的看法。她將其稱為“強權擁抱”,並指出這是一種披著善良外衣的侵犯,已經成為美國的一種時尚。“老闆在將要解僱或者已經解僱員工時送上擁抱、男男女女、亦敵亦友,只是為了表現欺騙性的團結。”