關於英語短篇笑話故事

　　英語笑話,不同文化背景的人的反應有時是不同的,甚至會截然相反。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Electric Train

　　A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

　　The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

　　Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

　　As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

　　：比一下其他?

　　Compare other things?

　　Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.

　　Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?

　　Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

　　兒子：媽媽，John有雙喬丹簽名的球鞋。

　　媽媽：你只關心這個嗎?不會比一下其它東西?

　　兒子：有啊，他媽媽比你漂亮。

　　：Mixed Doubles

　　Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?

　　Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.

　　Teacher: Please tell us something about it.

　　Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, ’’

　　混合雙打

　　體育老師：孩子們，你們見過男女混合雙打嗎?

　　尼克：見過，老師，經常見。就在昨天夜裡我還見過呢?

　　老師：你給大家講講當時的情形吧。

　　尼克：啊，對不起，老師。我爸爸常說，家醜不可外揚。

　　：What Are The Two Words

　　是哪兩個詞

　　A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

　　Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

　　一個非常高貴的老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說。我親愛的，老夫人說：我希望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞，一個是“討厭的”，另一個是“極好的”。你能答應我嗎?

　　噢，當然，奶奶，女孩說：是哪兩個詞?

　　：Kicking Habit

　　There was a little boy who lived on a farm. One morning when he got up from bed his mother told him he needed to start doing his chores around the farm.

　　The little boy said he would take over the chores for his dad. So he went to the barn and milked the cow when he was done he kicked the cow right in the ass. Then he went and fed the pig, when he was done he kicked the pig in the ass. Then he went to feed the chicken, when he was done he kicked the chicken in the ass.

　　After the chores were done the little boy went into the house and said to his mother "The chores are done I want some breakfast".

　　So the mom put a dry bowl of cereal down in front of the little boy, he said, "What about the milk?", and the mother replied "You can't have any milk because you kicked the cow in the ass". The little boy said, "Well how about some bacon?" the mother replied, "You can't have any bacon because you kicked the pig in the ass". The little boy said "Can I at least have an egg?" The mother replied, "No, you kicked the chicken in the ass".

　　In walks his father, who kicked the cat, and the little boy said to his mother "Do you want to tell him or should I?"