關於英語短篇笑話小故事

　　笑話具有短小精悍、幽默風趣的特點,是一種深受人們喜愛的文體。有些笑話廣為流傳。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Little Johnnie

　　The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that," she said, "But what is so exciting about a period." "Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "But this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

　　：Two Priests

　　Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation. To improve their chances of having a real vacation, they decided not to wear anything that would identify them as clergy.

　　As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageousshorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

　　The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying their drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a drop dead, gorgeous, blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.

　　When she passed them,she smiled and said, "Good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?

　　The next day they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits - outfits so loud you could hear them coming before you even saw them. Once again, they settled down on the beach to enjoy the sunshine.

　　After a while, the same gorgeous blonde came walking toward them. Again, she approached them and greeted them individually, said "Good morning Father," and walk away.

　　One of the priests couldn't stand it.

　　"Just a minute young lady," he said. "Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know: how in the world did you know we are priests?"

　　"Father,it's me, Sister Veronica."

　　：Santa's Lap

　　As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

　　The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

　　：Elephant Rapes A Man

　　A man goes to his doctor's and says, "Doc, I've just been raped by an elephant!"

　　The stunned doctor replies, "What makes you say that?"

　　"Well," says the man holding his hands about a foot or so apart, "my asshole feels this big!"

　　"Bend over, and let me have a look," says the doctor.

　　The guy bends over and sure enough, his asshole is about ten inches across.

　　"But I thought that elephants only had a long, thin penis?" states the doctor.

　　"Yeah, I know," says the agitated man, "but it fingered me first!"

　　：Bad Climate

　　Although he was a qualified meteorologist, a local broadcaster ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year.

　　That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired.

　　He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position.

　　In the blank he wrote quite honestly, "The climate didn't agree with me."