初一英語笑話短文

　　近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在網際網路、電視節目、書籍雜誌上廣泛流傳。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.

　　一天，一家百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給他的太太挑選一件女裝。但是，沒過多久，他就發現自己已被瘋狂的女人們撞得踉踉蹌蹌。

　　He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.

　　他竭力地忍耐著。後來，他低下頭，揮舞雙臂，擠過人群。

　　"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

　　“你幹嘛?”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現得像一位紳士嗎?”

　　"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

　　“聽著，”他說。“我已經像紳士一樣表現了一個小時了。從現在起，我要表現得像一位女士。”

　　篇2

　　A Fine Match

　　One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."

　　The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

　　Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!

　　勢均力敵

　　有一天某位女士看到一隻老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她衝出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一隻老鼠夾。店主告訴她：“放點乳酪在裡面，很快你就會逮住那隻老鼠的。”

　　這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家裡，但她沒有在碗櫥裡找到乳酪。她不想再回到商店裡去，因為已經很晚了。於是，她就從一份雜誌中剪下一幅乳酪的圖片放進了夾子。

　　令人稱奇的是，這畫有乳酪的圖片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時，發現鼠夾裡乳酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片!

　　篇3

　　He Was Only Wrong by Two

　　Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.

　　One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."

　　Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.

　　At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"

　　The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."

　　The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."

　　他的得數只比正確答案多二

　　傑克霍金斯是美國一所學院的橄欖球隊教練，他竭力想物色好球員。但是好球員學業不行，院方不願錄取。

　　有一天，教練帶著一位優秀的年輕球員去見院長，希望院方同意他免試入學。經過一番勸說後院長說：“那我最好先問問他幾個問題。”

　　然後他轉向學生，問了幾個非常簡單的問題。可是那個學生一個也答不上來。

　　最後院長說：“那麼，五乘七得多少?”

　　學生想了很久，然後回答說：“三十六。”

　　院長攤開雙手失望地看了看教練。可是教練認真地說，“噢，錄取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正確答案多二。”