初中英語笑話短文閱讀

　　笑話是什麼?它是能引人發笑的談話或故事;供人當做笑料的事情。本文是初中英語笑話短文，希望對大家有幫助!

　　初中英語笑話短文：魔鬼的妹夫

　　A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.

　　一位婦人發現丈夫回家的時候總是爛醉如泥，她決定為丈夫治好這個毛病。一個萬聖節夜裡，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹後，準備在丈夫返家時攔截他的去路。

　　When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

　　當丈夫走近時，她從樹後跳出來，站到他面前，頭上帶著紅色的羊角、身後有長長的尾巴，手中握著鋼叉。

　　"Who are you?" he asked.

　　“你是誰?”丈夫問到。

　　"I'm the Devil!" she responded.

　　“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。

　　"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

　　“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說，“我娶了你的姐妹!”

　　初中英語笑話短文：誰的狗最聰明

　　Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.

　　四個朋友在為誰的狗最聰明而爭吵。第一個人是個工程師，他對自己的狗喊道：“T形角，使出你的本領來。”這隻狗便跑向一個書桌，拉出一張紙和一支鉛筆，畫出了一個完美的三角形。

　　The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and pided the contents into four equal piles.

　　第二個人是個會計。他對他的狗說：“珠演算法，上吧。”那狗直奔廚房，用嘴咬開一袋甜餅並把餅分成了四等份。

　　The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.

　　第三個人是位藥劑師。他命令他的狗----量杯，表現一下。但見那狗徑直走向冰箱，叼出一瓶牛奶並精確地把八盎司牛奶倒入一個量杯中

　　。

　　The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. " With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.

　　最後一位是政府職員。“休息時間，”他對自己的狗喊叫，“去吧。”話還未落，那狗便跳將起來，踏汙了那張紙，吃掉了所有的甜餅，喝光了那杯牛奶。

　　初中英語笑話短文：快速服務

　　A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please."

　　一個人把一雙鞋子拿到一家鞋店，並對修鞋匠說，“請幫我修這雙鞋子。”

　　"Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said.“

　　當然可以，先生，”鞋匠說。

　　"When will they be ready?" the man asked.“

　　什麼時候能修好?”那個人問。

　　"I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said.

　　我有點忙，但到星期四我會修好鞋子的。”他說

　　。

　　That's fine," the man said, and left the shop.

　　很好，”那人說，並離開了那家店。

　　The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job.

　　第二天早上，他收到一封信，提供他一份在國外的工作。24小時內，他登上飛機去接受那份新工作。

　　Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown.

　　二十年過去了，他回到了故鄉。

　　He remembered his shoes.

　　他記起了那雙鞋。

　　"They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.擾He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now.“

　　那是一雙好鞋，”他想，“我想知道鞋匠是否還在那兒，是否還有那雙鞋。我要去看看。他很高興看到鞋匠還在那家店裡，雖然他已很老了。

　　"Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?"

　　“早上好，”他對鞋匠說，“二十年前，我拿了一雙鞋子來修。你記得還有那雙鞋嗎?”

　　"Name?" the old shoemaker asked.

　　名字?”老鞋匠問。

　　"Smith," the man said.

　　史密斯，”那人回答。

　　"I'll go and see. They may be out back.“

　　我去瞧瞧，或許在後面呢。

　　The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes.

　　鞋匠回到店的後面去，幾分鐘後又回來了，手裡提著那雙鞋子

　　"Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday."