關於初二水平英語笑話短文

　　笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語言現象,其目的在於在會話過程中傳遞和激發幽默感。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Talking Parrot

　　A woman went into a pet shop and said to the man, "I want a parrot, but sell me one thatdefinitely talks."

　　The man sold her a parrot, saying, "This one definitely talks."

　　The woman took him home, set his cage up on a table, and said to the parrot, "Okay, talk."

　　The parrot said, "Show me your tits."

　　The woman was outraged. So she put him in the refrigerator. After a while, she took him out and said, "So talk."

　　Again, the parrot said, "Show me your tits."

　　To show the parrot his place, she put him in the fridge for a longer time, but still the same thing happened. She was quite annoyed. This time she put him in the freezer.

　　There was a turkey in the freezer. The parrot said to the turkey, "How did you get here? Did you ask for a blowjob?"

　　：The Horse and the Chicken

　　A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

　　A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'I think I can stand over the hole!' So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, 'Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up.' And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

　　The moral of the story:

　　If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

　　：The Koala Bear

　　A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich and the bartender brings him a sandwich

　　The Koala eats the sandwich and gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, an proceeds to walk out of the bar.

　　The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "hey who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you think your going!

　　The Koala replies, "Hey I'm a Koala. Look it up."

　　The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up Koala: "n. amarsupial that eats shoots and leaves."

　　：Typical White Man

　　An Indian scouting party captures a cowboy from a bar and brings him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. At sundown third day, you die. What first wish?"

　　The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse." The indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the back. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comesback with a naked blonde.

　　She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man... only think one thing." The second day, the chief says, "What wish today?"

　　The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse's ear, then slaps it on the back. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy.

　　The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man going die tomorrow ... can only think one thing." The last day comes, and the chief says, "This last wish, white man. What want?"

　　The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, "Read my lips you idiot! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"