簡單的英語笑話加翻譯

　　冷笑話給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕鬆的情趣,它一出現便受到了大多數人的喜愛。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　精選

　　我正是新郎 I'm the groom

　　A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say,..." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

　　警察在小鎮上攔下了一個在主街上減速駕駛的人，“但是，警官，”那個男子說道：“我能解釋原因。”“閉嘴”，警察不耐煩地說道“我得把你關進牢房讓你坐冷板凳，直到警長回來。”但是，警官，我想說的是……”“我告訴過你讓你閉嘴。你得進監獄。”幾個小時後，警察來看那個被關押的男子，“你很幸運，警長去參加他女兒的婚禮了，他回來時心情會很好。”“不要提那件事了”被關押的男子說道：“我正是新郎”。

　　閱讀

　　兩張電影票 Two Tickets

　　A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema.When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young mansaid, "Then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to stand together?"

　　Notes:

　　***1*** be ***fall*** in love with 愛上　　***2*** sell out 售完，賣完

　　***3*** disappointed adj.失望的　　 ***4*** sur-ticket n.附加票

　　一個小夥子愛上了一位姑娘。週末，他請她看電影。來到售票處，小夥子對售票員說：“請給兩張票。” 售票員告訴他所有的票都賣完了。失望的年輕人說：“那麼，您有兩張可以讓我們站在一起的附加票嗎?”

　　學習

　　儲存密碼本的安全地方

　　My 16-year-old son, Jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of --until you see the floor of hisroom, covered with layers of clothes, magazines and sports equipment.

　　我的兒子傑弗，十六歲。他是一個令父母感到自豪的孩子，只是你別去看他房間的地板，那上面總是堆滿了一層層的衣服、雜誌及運動器材。

　　Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account.While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessibleplace to store his passbook. "I know, Mom," he replied. "I' 11 keep it on my floor. "

　　不久前，我帶傑弗到信用聯社去開他自己的賬戶，這是他第一次開銀行賬戶。當信用社職員在辦理手續的時候，我便告訴傑弗說他需要一個安全可靠的地方來儲存密碼本。“我知道，媽媽，”他回答說，“我會在地板上找到地方的。”

　　欣賞

　　富有挑戰性的搜尋 A Challenging Hunt

　　A woman answered her front door and found two boys holding a list. "Lady," one of themexplained, "we are on a treasure hunt, and we need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop boneand a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar. "

　　"Wow," the woman replied, "who sent you on such a challenging hunt?" "Our baby-sitter'sboyfriend. "

　　一個婦人開啟前門，看到兩個男孩手裡拿著一張字條。“夫人，”其中一個解釋道，“我們在尋寶。我們需要三顆麥粒、一塊豬排骨、一張用過的複寫紙來掙一美元。”

　　“哦，”那位婦女回答道：“誰讓你們作這樣富有挑戰性的搜尋的?”　男孩們回答道　“是我們保姆的男朋友。”

　　品味

　　誰的狗最聰明 Whose Dog Was the Smartest

　　Whose Dog Was the Smartest

　　Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.

　　The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and pided the contents into four equal piles.

　　The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.

　　The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. " With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.

　　的狗最聰明

　　四個朋友在為誰的狗最聰明而爭吵。第一個人是個工程師，他對自己的狗喊道：“T形角，使出你的本領來。”這隻狗便跑向一個書桌，拉出一張紙和一支鉛筆，畫出了一個完美的三角形。

　　第二個人是個會計。他對他的狗說：“Slide Rule，上吧。”那狗直奔廚房，用嘴咬開一袋甜餅並把餅分成了四等份。

　　第三個人是位藥劑師。他命令他的狗---Beaker，表現一下。但見那狗徑直走向冰箱，叼出一瓶牛奶並精確地把八盎司牛奶倒入一個量杯中。

　　最後一位是政府職員。“休息時間，”他對自己的狗喊叫，“去吧。”話還未落，那狗便跳將起來，踏汙了那張紙，吃掉了所有的甜餅，喝光了那杯牛奶。