每日搞笑英語笑話大全
笑話作為一種特殊的交際策略，它能夠幫助人們緩解尷尬的氣氛，從而保持和諧的人際關係。因此，古今中外，許多學者都致力於對它的研究。下面是小編帶來的每日搞笑英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
每日搞笑英語笑話篇一
An Exact Number 準確數字
A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur***恐龍*** bones lying about.
How old are these bones? the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.
Exactly one hundred million and three years old.
How can you be so sure? inquired the tourist.
Well, replied the guide, a geologist***地質學家*** came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.
一位遊客在新墨西哥遊覽，他對隨處可見的恐龍化石甚感驚奇。
這些化石有多長的歷史?遊客問一個上了年紀的當地美國人，他是作嚮導的。
整整十億零三年了。
你怎麼這麼肯定?遊客問道。
哦，嚮導回答道，一個地質學家來過這兒，他告訴我說這些化石有十億年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。
每日搞笑英語笑話篇二
Who should be given the present
A father of five children came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, "Who is the most obedient***順從的*** , never talks back to Mother and does everything he or she is told?" He inquired. There was silence, and then a chorus***合唱，齊聲*** of voices: "You play with it, Daddy!" 一位有五個孩子的父親帶著一件玩具回到家裡，把孩子們召集起來問這件禮物該給誰。“誰最聽話，從不和媽媽頂嘴，讓幹什麼就幹什麼?”他問道。 大家都不吭聲。過了一會兒，孩子們異口同聲地說：“爸爸，您玩吧。”
每日搞笑英語笑話篇三
Not too Bad 不算太壞
"Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"
"No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."
“你的畫在美術展上有賣出去嗎?”
“沒有，但我還是受到了鼓勵，”他回答說，“有人偷走了一幅。”
每日搞笑英語笑話篇四
The Kings Brother 國王的兄弟
A poor man, presenting himself before the King of Spain, asked his charity, telling him that he was his brother.
Thinking desiring to know how he claimed kindred***家族，親屬關係*** to him, the poor fellow replied, We are all descended from one common father and mother viz., Adam and Eve. Upon which the king gave him a little copper piece of money.
The poor man began to be moan himself, saying, Is it possible that your Majesty should give no more than this to your brother? Away, away, replies the king: if all the brothers you have in the world give you as much as I have done, you'll be richer than I am.
一個窮漢去見西班牙國王，說自己是他的兄弟，求他施恩賙濟。
國王想知道他何以攀認親戚，窮漢回答說，我們有共同的祖先亞當和夏娃。聽了這話，國王就給了他一個小銅子兒。
於是窮人開始叫屈，說：難道您國王陛下就給兄弟這麼一點點錢嗎?走開，快走，國王回答，如果世界上你所有的兄弟們都像我這樣給你一個銅板，你就比我還有錢了。
每日搞笑英語笑話篇五
Senior Class 年長者階層
Senior Class
During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.
When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!"
年長者階層
醫生按期來探視我的老母。我告訴他母親不幾天就要慶祝她98歲的生日了。醫生聽了也很高興，為此，他彎下腰來親了她一下。然後他說不幾天他也要慶祝自己的生日，並要求她還他一個吻。
醫生走後，我母親厭惡地搖搖頭。“你能想象嗎，”她說，“付了他70元，我還得親他!”