關於爆笑英語笑話作文

　　看幽默笑話 可以讓人心情舒暢 開懷大笑 對身心好,對腦子沒影響。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Prepare Yourself

　　A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom -flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."

　　Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."

　　自己做好準備

　　校園裡流傳著這樣的故事：一個學生一次給父母拍了一份電報，上面寫著：“媽媽，我所有功課都不及格，被學校開除。讓爸爸做好準備。”

　　兩天以後，他收到了回電：“爸爸已準備好。你自己做好準備吧!”

　　：Ways to Report Death

　　Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James was particularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbert meticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. James telephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"

　　"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you're insensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar -you should have broken the news to me slowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but I have called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could have said the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they would succeed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have done their best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Then when I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had been done for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar. And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"

　　"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."

　　報喪方式

　　郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母並養了一隻貓叫埃德格。詹姆斯特別喜歡這隻貓。有一次他要外出幾天，臨行前不厭其煩地囑咐郝伯特照顧好這隻寵物。出門後的頭一天晚上，他打來電話詢問：“埃德格好嗎?”

　　“它死了，”郝伯格回答。一陣沉默之後，詹姆斯說：“郝伯特，你真沒心沒肺，你知道我多麼喜歡埃德格----你應該把這個訊息慢慢地告訴我。當我問起埃德格今晚怎樣時，你應該說，‘埃德格爬上了屋頂，我已給消防隊打了電話，讓他們把它救下來。’我明天又給你打電話時，你應該說消防隊營救埃德格遇到了困難，但你相信他們會成功。在我第三天給你打電話時，你可以說消防隊員已盡了最大努力，但很不幸，埃德格從屋頂上掉了下來，被送到獸醫那裡。在我最後一次給你打電話詢問，你可以說盡管對埃德格做了一切所能做的努力，它還是死了。這是一個富有感情的人告訴我埃德格的訊息時所用的方式。哦，趁我沒忘記還有件事順便問一下，”詹姆斯補充道，“母親好嗎?”

　　“哦……”一陣沉默後郝伯特答道，“她上了屋頂。”

　　：The Mean Mans Party

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　吝嗇鬼的聚會

　　一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　“為什麼我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空著手來吧?”