英語趣味幽默小故事

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：誠實

　　A man went to an insurance office to have his life insured. The manager of the office asked him how old his parents were when they died.

　　"Mother had a bad heart and died at the age of thirty. Father died of tuberculosis when he was thirty-five."

　　"I am very sorry," said the manager, "We cannot insure your life as your parents were not healthy."

　　As the man was leaving the office, depressed, he met a clerk who had overheard the conversation.

　　"You must not be so frank and tell the truth," said the clerk, "no office will insure yoy if you speak like that. Use your imagination a little."

　　The man went to another office and was shown into the manager's room.

　　"Well, young man, how old were your parents when they died ? "

　　"Mother was ninety-three, and she died from a fall off her bicycle. Father was ninety-eight and he died while he was playing football."

　　一位男子去一家保險公司給自己投人壽保險。保險公司經理問他，他父母去世時他們是多大歲數。

　　“母親心臟不好，30 歲過世的。父親死於肺結核，其時35 歲。”

　　“我非常抱歉，”經理說，“ 我們不能給你辦人壽保險，因為你父母身體不健康。”

　　正當此人沮喪地離開保險公司時，他遇上了一位辦事員，此人無意中聽到了經理和他的談話。

　　“你不應該如此坦率地講真話，”那位辦事員說，“ 如果照你那樣講，沒有一家公司會給你辦人壽保險。發揮一點你的想象力吧!”

　　這位男子去到另一家保險公司，被帶進了經理室。

　　“嗯，年輕人，你父母去世時他們多大歲數?”

　　“母親93歲，她是從自行車上摔下來去世的。父親98 歲，他是在踢足球時去世的。”

　　：大街上的陰涼處

　　It was a very hot day in the middle of summer, and there no trees along the street.

　　Mr Smith closed his shop at half past five, went out into the street and walked to the bus. He was very fat. The sun shone straight down the street and in a few minutes Mr Smith felt very hot.

　　A small boy came out of another shop in the street, and went after Mr Smith. He stayed very near him all the time. And he kicked Mr Smith's shoes a few times. Mr Smith looked at him angrily each time.

　　After the fourth time. Mr smith stopped, turned and said to the small boy, "What are you doing here? Stop going after me like that! You're going to hurt my feet."

　　"I'm sorry, but don't stop me, please!" the small boy said. "It is very hot today, and there isn't any shade anywhere else in the street!"

　　這是夏季一個非常炎熱的一天，大街兩邊沒有一棵樹。

　　史密斯先生下午五點半就將商店關閉，來到大街上，向公共汽車走去。史密斯很胖，太陽火辣辣地照在大街上，不一會兒他就感到太熱了。

　　一個小男孩從大街上另一家商店裡出來，走在史密斯先生後面。這個小男孩一直緊跟著他，踢了史密斯先生的鞋子好幾次。每次，史密斯都很憤怒地看了他一眼。

　　又踢了一次後，史密斯先生停下里，英語小故事轉過身對這個小男孩說：“你在這裡幹什麼呀?別這樣跟著我，你會踢傷我的腳的。”

　　“對不起，可是請別趕我走!”小男孩說道：“今天這麼熱，大街上別的地方又沒有一點陰涼處。”