關於中學英語笑話短文

　　英語笑話是日常生活中常見的一種幽默。人們生活離不開英語笑話的存在。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Talking Too Much

　　Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's.

　　However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."

　　Nina's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."

　　：Nice Children's Tale

　　Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.

　　"My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.

　　The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.

　　"My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.

　　Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away. About 2 miles down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign. "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.

　　With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, " For Chrissakes!! Will you get lost?! I'm trying to take a dump!"

　　：Shopping with kids

　　My three-year-old daughter and I went shopping with my mother.

　　She is a rather large woman, Mom sometimes has a tough time finding just the right fit.

　　When my mother picked out a yellow suit, my daughter went into the dressing room with her.

　　A moment later Mom asked her how she liked the outfit.

　　My daughter replied, "Oh, Nana, you look so pretty... just like a big yellow school bus."

　　The suit stayed in the dressing room.

　　：Making A Baby

　　Mom and Dad were taking young Billy for a walk through the park one sunny afternoon when all of a sudden, in the bushes a short distance away, Billy spots two dogs going at it. Billy says, "Daddy, what are they doing?" The dad responds after some quick thinking, "Why son, their making a puppy."

　　Later that night Billy was thirsty and got out of bed to get a glass of water. As he walked by his mom and dad's room, he heard a noise and looked in only to find them going at it. Billy shouts, "Daddy what are you doing?" The father, quite embarrassed, replies "Why Billy, we're making a baby." "Quick, turn her over..." declares Billy, "...I want a puppy!"

　　：Over Your Heart

　　The teacher advised the class to start the day with the Pledge of Allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." When his eyes fell on Little Johnny, he noticed his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks.

　　"Little Johnny, I will not continue till you put your hand over your heart."

　　Little Johnny replied, "It is over my heart."

　　After several attempts to get Little Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?"

　　"Because, every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Grandma wouldn't lie."