短小的英語笑話

　　近年來,冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象在網路、雜誌上十分盛行。若要推論現行冷笑話的來源,或已無從考證。它的傳播方式並非特定,既能通過網路等媒體進行傳播,也能通過人們口耳相傳。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：想做壞夢

　　Before the final examination, Tom told his mother,

　　"Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

　　"Don't trust dreams, dear.

　　It is said what you experience in dreams usually

　　turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."

　　Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　【英語譯文】

　　在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：

　　“媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個夢，夢見我通過了今天的考試。”

　　“不要相信夢，親愛的。據說夢中的經歷通常與現實相反。”媽媽答道。

　　“那麼，我真希望在今晚的夢中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說。

　　：what do I get

        Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?

　　Tommy: Quarters.

　　Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?

　　Tommy: Hamburger.

　　英語小笑話翻譯：

　　老師：如果我把一塊牛排切成兩半的兩半，

　　我能得到幾塊兒?

　　湯米：四塊。老師：那我要是再切兩次，

　　我能得到什麼呢?湯米：漢堡。

　　：聰明與和平

        Once God came up to me and granted me a wish.

　　I asked for world peace. That's impossible, he said.

　　Then I asked him to give me brains. He said, Let me try world peace.

　　翻譯：

　　有一次上帝來到我面前答應了我一個願望。

　　我說我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他說。

　　然後我請讓我變聰明。他說：“你還是讓我試試讓世界和平吧。”

　　：Two Birds 

        兩隻鳥Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

　　老師： 這兒有兩隻鳥，一隻是麻雀。誰能指出哪隻是燕子，哪隻是麻雀嗎?

　　Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

　　學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

　　Teacher: Please tell us.

　　老師：請說說看。

　　Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　　學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

　　：蘋果怎麼分

        Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.

　　So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.

　　Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.

　　Well, said Harry, that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?

　　媽媽給了哈里兩個蘋果，一個大一點，另一個小點兒。跟妹妹分著吃。媽媽說。

　　所以，哈里就把小個的給了妹妹，自己開始啃那個大個的。

　　哼，妹妹說，如果媽媽給了我，我會把大的給你，把小的留給自己的。

　　對呀，哈里說，你拿到的不就是小的嗎?還著什麼急呀?