經典英語笑話大全爆笑

　　笑話能反映出一個民族的價值系統及其對周圍世界肯定和否定的態度。下面是小編帶來的經典爆笑英語笑話大全，歡迎閱讀!

　　經典爆笑英語笑話大全篇一

　　Mr.and Mrs.Jones seldom go out in the evening.But last Satur-day, Mrs. Jones want to go to the cinema.

　　瓊斯夫婦晚上很少出去。可上星期六，瓊斯太太想去看電影。

　　A:There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Shall we go and see it?

　　今晚電影院有場好電影，我們去看嗎?

　　***Mr. Jones was quite happy about it. So they went and both of them en-joyed the film very much!When they came out of the cinema, it was al-ready 11 o'clock. They got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark.

　　瓊斯先生對此感到非常高興。於是他們便去了，他倆兒都喜愛這部影片。當他們從電影院出來時已經11點鐘了。他們趕緊上了車，開始朝家開去，天色很黑。***

　　A:Look，Bill. A woman is running along the road very fast, and a man is running after her. Can you see them?

　　快看，比爾!有個女人正沿著公路飛快地奔跑，後面還有一個男人在追她，你看見了嗎?

　　B:Yes, I can.***Driving the car slowly near the woman***Can I help you?

　　是的，我看見了。***把車慢慢地開到女人身旁***我能幫助你嗎?

　　C:No, thanks. My husband and I always run home after the film because whoever gets home late will wash the dishes.

　　不，謝謝。我和我丈夫每次看完電影之後總是跑著回家，因為誰最後到家，誰就要洗盤子。

　　經典爆笑英語笑話大全篇二

　　A:I had much trouble with my son Dick.

　　我現在管不了我兒子迪克了。

　　B:You should not worry about that in the least for I had trouble withmy daugllter too.

　　你用不著擔心，我也經常與我女兒發生矛盾。

　　A:I suppose Dick's like me that way too I believe.

　　我想，迪克隨我。

　　B:That's not bad.

　　那並不是件壞事呀!

　　A:That's just too bad.I told him time and again not to do wh atI did but to do what I told him to do.but that didn't seem to work at all.

　　問題就壞在這裡了。我三番五次地告訴他，不要照我做的去做，而要照我說的去做。可似乎根本沒有用。

　　B:Look here,Bill,suppose you just tell me what's happened and I'Il try to work things out for you.

　　比爾，看著我，究竟發生了什麼，你快告訴我。我將幫你理出個頭緒來。

　　A:Well,I sort of told Dick not to go to see striptease ladies, for he could see tllings he actuallV shouldn't and what do you think he did?

　　我，呃，呃……告訴他不要去看脫衣舞女郎，因為他可能會看到不該看的東西，你知道他怎麼了?

　　B:What?

　　怎麼?

　　A:Believe it or not. that was exactly what he did,and do you know what he saw there7

　　信不信由你，他恰恰那麼做了，你猜他看到了什麼?

　　B:Er,well,I am not much of an expert but I can guess what the boy...

　　呃，這個方面我不是專家，不過我猜想那孩子……

　　A:That's it.You've guessed it right. He saw me there.

　　沒錯，你猜對了，他看見我在那兒。

　　經典爆笑英語笑話大全篇三

　　On a special Teacher's Day,a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First, the florist's son handed her a gift.

　　在教師節裡，一位幼兒園教師正在接受孩子們送給她的禮物，首先花匠的兒子遞上他的禮物。

　　A:I bet I know what it is...some flowers.

　　我敢打賭我知道里面是什麼……是一些花。

　　B:That is right, but how did you know?

　　是的，可是你是怎麼知道的呢?

　　A:Just a wild guess.

　　瞎猜的。

　　***The second pupil is the candy store owner's daughter.The teacher hands her gift over head.

　　第二個學生是糖果店老闆的女兒。老師把她送的禮物舉起來。***

　　A:I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy.

　　我敢打賭我知道里面是什麼，是一盒糖果。

　　C:That's right. But how did you know?

　　對了，但你怎麼知道的?

　　A:Just a lucky guess.

　　碰巧猜出來的。

　　***The third gift is from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher holds it over head but it is leaking. She touches a drop of the leakage with her finger and tastes it.

　　第三份禮物來自於酒店老闆的兒子，老師把它舉起來，但有液體漏了出來，她用手蘸了一滴漏出來的液體，嚐了一下味道。***

　　A:Is it wine?

　　是果酒嗎?

　　D:No.

　　不是。

　　***The teacher repeated the process touching another drop of leakage to her tongue.

　　老師又用舌頭嚐了一滴漏出來的東西。***

　　A:Is it champagne?

　　是香檳嗎?

　　D:No.

　　不是。

　　A:Now, I give up. What is it?