超搞笑的英文小笑話帶翻譯最短

　　笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　精選

　　***一***

　　"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."

　　"孩子，你為什麼用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了嗎?"

　　"沒有，老師。可是你昨天說你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵裡進，一個耳朵裡出，所以我要把它堵在裡面。"

　　***二***

　　A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate. Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class, when they're eight or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-old kid came back home and asked his father, "Father, is it expensive to be married?" And the father said, "Yes, son, it is very expensive." So the son asked, "How much does it cost?" And the father said, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

　　有個小孩愛上了另一個小孩，對方是學校的同學。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時會迷戀班上某個人，然後就以為自己戀愛了。因此這個八歲的小孩回家問他爸爸：「爸爸，結婚很花錢嗎?」爸爸說：「是啊，兒子，非常花錢。」兒子又問：「要花多少錢呢?」爸爸說：「我不知道，兒子，我到現在還一直在付錢啊!」

　　閱讀

　　***一***

　　Son: Dad, give me a dime.

　　Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?

　　Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?

　　兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。

　　父親：兒子，你不認為你已經長大了，不該再老是一角一角地要錢了***該自立了***，不是嗎?

　　兒子：爸爸，我想你是對的，那給我一塊錢行嗎?

　　***二***

　　Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.

　　Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.

　　史密斯先生：服務員，我的湯裡有一隻死蒼蠅.

　　服務員：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被燙死的.

　　學習

　　***一***

　　Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

　　Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

　　一名偉人

　　老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎?

　　學生：當然。因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲。

　　***二***

　　Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　Man:He is really somebody.What does do?

　　Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery

　　他真是一個大人物

　　小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個人。

　　男人：他真是一個大人物。他是幹什麼的?

　　小孩：墓地守墓人。

　　欣賞

　　Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,"Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?" "No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket."

　　湯姆是個小孩，他才7歲。當他去電影院的時候。那時他第一次去。他買了張票進去了。但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了，然後買了第二張票又進去了。幾分鐘後他又出來買了第三張票。接著兩三分鐘後他又出來買票。一個女的問她，"你為什麼要買那麼多票啊? 你見到了幾個朋友?" "沒有，我裡面沒朋友，但是每當我進門的時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了"