超級簡短英文笑話精選
在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。 下面是小編帶來的超級簡短英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!
一
Where is the egg?
you make a sentence with the word "egg"?
ate a piece of cake yesterday.
where is the "egg"?
Student:In the cake,Sir.
雞蛋在哪裡?
老師：你能用"雞蛋"一詞造句嗎?
學生：可以。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。
老師："雞蛋"在哪?
學生：在蛋糕裡，先生
二
There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, "How come this guy is $5,000? That's so expensive for this kindof parrot." The owner said, "Because I have trained him and he can talk." So the customer asked him, "How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?" The owner said, "Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That's why he's so expensive." Then the customer said, "How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?" The owner of the shopsaid, "I don't know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him 'The Boss.'"
老闆最大 有個人到一間商店買鸚鵡。店裡有三隻鸚鵡，其中一隻賣五千元，另一隻賣一萬元，還有一隻賣三萬元。顧客問老闆：「為什麼這隻要賣五千元?這個價錢對這種鸚鵡來說太貴了!」老闆說：「因為我有訓練他講話。」顧客又問：「那這隻呢?他會做什麼?為什麼要賣這麼貴?」老闆說：「他除了會說話之外，還會表演一些有趣的動作，好比說跳舞等等，所以才賣這麼貴。」顧客接著又問：「那第三隻呢?他會做什麼?為什麼要賣這麼貴?」老闆說：「我不知道。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什麼都沒有!不過另外兩隻叫他：『老闆!』」
超級簡短英文笑話閱讀
一
1. Two Tickets Please
A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "
When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
Notes:
1 be fall in love with 愛上
3 disappointed adj.失望的
2 sell out 售完，賣完
4 sur-ticket n.附加票
Exercises:
根據短文回答問題：
①What did the young man do at one weekend?
② How many tickets did he want?
③ Did the ticket-seller have any tickets?
④ Was the young man happy?
⑤ What did he decide to do then?
兩張電影票
一個小夥子愛上了一位姑娘。週末，他請她看電影。來到售票處，小夥子對售票員說：“請給兩張票。”售票員告訴他所有的票都賣完了。失望的年輕人說：“那麼，您有兩張可以讓我們站在一起的附加票嗎?”
練習參考答案
① He invited his girlfriend to the cinema.
② TWO.
③ No, the tickets had sold out
④ No, he wasn't.
⑤ He decided to buy two sur-tickets which could allow them to stand together.
二
An Adult Decision
The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.
Notes:
1 constantly adv. 不斷地
2 tattoo n. 文身
3 permission n. 允許
4 masculinity n. 陽性，男性
5 image n . 形象，肖像
6 Mickey Mouse 米老鼠
Exercises:
根據短文判斷下列句子正T、誤F：
① When the son pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, the mother thought her son was old enough to make an adult decision.
② A few days before his birthday, the son came home with a tattoo.
③ The mother wondered what symbol her son had chosen.
④ The image of Mickey Mouse on the son's shoulder was three inches long.
⑤ From the passage, we can see that the son really made an adult decision.
成年人的抉擇
我兒子十八歲前的那一年，他常常向我提出准許他文身。但我拒絕允許他這樣做。他爭辯說他不久就要成為男子漢了，並說他應該能夠作出成年人的抉擇了。果然，十八歲生日的幾天後，他文了身，回到家裡。儘管我對此感到不高興，但出於好奇，我想看看他選擇了什麼雄性象徵物。原來是他在肩上文了一個兩英寸長的米老鼠像。
練習參考答案：
① F ② F ③ T ④ F ⑤ F
超級簡短英文笑話學習
一
What Grade
Kristin,, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What grade, miss?"
"Eleventh!" Kristin replied.
Notes:
① niece n.侄女 ④ full-service n.晝夜服務
② license n.駕駛執照 ⑤ pump n.加油機
③ pull up 停止
Exercises:
根據短文回答問題：
1 How old was Kristin?
2 What had she just gotten?
3 what did she offer to do one day?
4 What did the attendant mean by asking "What grade, miss?"
5 How did Kristin misunderstand the attendant?
哪一級
我的十七歲的侄女，科里斯蒂，剛剛拿到駕照。她主動提出去加油站給她媽媽的車加油。她把車開到晝夜服務的加油泵前。服務員問她：“加油加到哪一級，小姐?”
“十一年級!”科里斯蒂回答說。
練習參考答案：
① Seventeen years old.
② She has just gotten her driving license.
③ She offered to take her mother's car to the gas station.
④ He wanted her to select the proper kind of gas for the car.
⑤ She thought that the attendant was asking which grade she was in at school.
二
Were on That Mountain Over There
My son and I became lost while hiking high in the southern Rockies. I immediately went to work with my map and compass to determine where we had gone off course. My son, an electronics engineer, produced from his pack a hand-held Global Positioning System receiver.
"I know exactly where we are, " he proudly announced, after carefully locking the instrument on four satellites high above the earth and checking his map. "We're on that mountain there!"
Notes:
1 hike v.遠足;徒步旅行
2 Rockies n.美國落基山脈
3 compass n.羅盤
4 go off course 走下了道
5 electronics n.電子學
Exercises:
根據短文選擇正確答案：
① Why did the mother and son become lost in the southern Rockies?
A. Because they were hiking.
B. Because the Rockies were too high.
C. Because they were climbing too high.
D. Because they had gone off course.
② What's the use of a compass?
A. to determine where people have gone off course.
B. to show people the correct direction.
C. to make people confused about direction.
D. to make people work well
③ What was the son?
A. a mechanic
B. a tourist guide
C. an electronics engineer
D. a traveller
④ How many satellites did the son lock the instrument on?
A. One
B. Two
C. Three
D. Four
⑤ What do you think of the son's way to solve the problem?
A. It was a clever way.
B. It was the only way.
C. It wouldn't solve their problem.
D. The son took too much of himself.
我們在那座山上
落基山脈徒步旅行時，由於爬得太高，我和兒子都迷了路。我立刻拿出地圖和羅盤來確定我們是在哪幾走錯了路。我的兒子是位電子學工程師，他卻馬上從包裡拿出一個全球定位系統接收器。他很小心地把儀器鎖定在地球上空的四個衛星上，認真地看儀器上的圖。然後他自豪地宣佈道：“我知道我們的確切位置了。我們就在那邊的那個山上!”
練習參考答案：
① D ② B ③ C ④ D ⑤C