簡單幽默英語笑話閱讀

　　笑話是幽默的一個屬概念 ,具有幽默的一切特徵。笑話是民族特有幽默的一種形式。小編分享簡單幽默英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　簡單幽默英語笑話：Arsenic

　　A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

　　Surprised, the pharmacist asks, "Madam, what do you want with arsenic?"

　　The woman replies that she wants to kill her husband.

　　Horrified, the pharmacist says, "Madam, I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!"

　　The woman reaches into her handbag, takes out a photograph and lays it down on the counter. The photo shows a man and a woman in a sexually compromising position. The man is her husband. The pharmacist recognises his wife as the woman in the photograph.

　　The pharmacist picks up the photo and nods, "Ah, madam, I didn't realise you had aprescription."

　　簡單幽默英語笑話：The Angry Wife

　　The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.

　　"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning, with beer on your breath, and lipstick on your collar?"

　　"There is," he replied. "I'd like some breakfast."

　　簡單幽默英語笑話：20 Years Of Marriage

　　A couple were married for 20 years.

　　Everytime they had sex the husband would insist the lights to be turned of.

　　The wife was getting bored of the same thing everytime.

　　So that night when they were having sex the wife turned on the lights and saw her husband with a dildo in his hand.

　　The wife very annoyed by now, started shouting at her husband and asked him to explin himself.

　　The husband replied with "Explain our Kids."

　　簡單幽默英語笑話：Powder Viagra

　　This elderly lady went to the doctor for a checkup. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now, and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."

　　The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"

　　The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.

　　"Well," the doctor continued, "let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."

　　The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.

　　Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.

　　"How did it go?" the doctor asked.

　　"Terribly, doctor, terribly."

　　"Did it not work?"

　　"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."

　　"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"

　　"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."

　　簡單幽默英語笑話：Loving Wife

　　A man was just recovering in hospital after being unconscious for a week. His wife was sitting by his side when he woke up.

　　Man: Honey, you've been by my side when I was in that car crash, you were there when I lost my job, you were present when my parents died, and you were by my side when someone stole all my money from my account.....and you know what?

　　Wife: What?

　　Man: I think you're bad luck.