幽默簡單的英語笑話閱讀

　　笑話是一種複雜而有趣的人類行為，中西方學者從哲學、語言學、心理學、美學、社會學及文學批評等視角對其進行多學科的研究和探索。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　a poor man, presenting himself before the king of spain, asked his charity, telling him that he was his brother.

　　一個窮漢去見西班牙國王，說自己是他的兄弟，求他施恩賙濟。

　　thinking desiring to know how he claimed kindred***家族，親屬關係*** to him, the poor fellow replied, we are all descended from one common father and mother viz., adam and eve. upon which the king gave him a little copper piece of money.

　　國王想知道他何以攀認親戚，窮漢回答說，我們有共同的祖先亞當和夏娃。聽了這話，國王就給了他一個小銅子兒。

　　the poor man began to be moan himself, saying, is it possible that your majesty should give no more than this to your brother? away, away, replies the king: if all the brothers you have in the world give you as much as i have done, you'll be richer than i am.

　　於是窮人開始叫屈，說：難道您國王陛下就給兄弟這麼一點點錢嗎?走開，快走，國王回答，如果世界上你所有的兄弟們都像我這樣給你一個銅板，你就比我還有錢了。

　　篇二

　　Thanksgiving 感恩節

　　Mr. Hunter calls his son in Boston. The old man says,“Son, I hate to bring you the bad news…… but your mother and I, we are getting a divorce.”The son is surprised, “What?? You can’t!”

　　亨特先生給在波士頓的兒子打電話。老人說：“兒子，我不想帶給你壞訊息……但是我和你媽要離婚了。”兒子非常吃驚，“什麼??你們不能!”

　　Mr. Hunter says, “I’m sorry, son! Forty-five years of misery is enough! Now, I am sick of talking about it, call your sister and tell her!” And he hangs up.

　　亨特先生說，“對不起，兒子!45年的痛苦已經夠了!我討厭說這些了，給你姐打電話告訴她!”就掛了電話。

　　The son, nearly in tears, calls his sister in New York, “Sis,” he says, “You’re not going to believe this! Mom and dad are getting a…… a…… divorce!”

　　兒子幾乎是哭著給在紐約的姐姐打電話，“姐，”他說：“你不會相信的!媽和爸要…要…離婚!”

　　“What?!” she shouts on the phone. “Oh, no. They aren’t!You stay put. I’ll call you right back!” And she hangs up.

　　“什麼?!”她在電話裡喊起來。“噢，不。他們不能!你不要走開。我馬上給你打過去!”她掛了電話。

　　The sister calls the parents in Los Angels, “You two are not getting a divorce!”

　　姐姐給洛杉磯的父母打電話：“你們倆不能離婚!“

　　Mr. Hunter says, “Honey, listen……”

　　亨特先生說：“親愛的，聽著……”

　　The daughter says, “No, you listen! You are not getting a divorce! You know what? You don’t do anything! I’m calling brother back. We’ll be there tomorrow! Don’t do anything.”

　　And she hangs up.

　　女兒說：“不，你聽著!你們不準離婚!你知道嗎?什麼都不要做!我給弟弟打電話，我們明天就回去!任何事都不要做。”然後掛了電話。

　　Mr. Hunter hangs up calmly, looks at Mrs. Hunter, and says, “Well, they are coming for Thanksgiving and are paying their own fares. What shall we tell them on Christmas?”

　　亨特先生平靜地放下聽筒，看著亨特太太說：“好了，感恩節他們都要自己買機票回來了。聖誕節我們給他們說什麼?”

　　篇三

　　mike was late for school. he said to his teacher, mr. black, "excuse me for my coming late, sir. i watched a football match in my dream."

　　麥克上學遲到了。他對布萊克老師說：“對不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因為我在夢裡觀看了一場球賽。”

　　"why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.

　　“為什麼它會讓你遲到呢?”老師問道。

　　"because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied mike.

　　“因為這兩個隊都沒有能力獲勝，所以就持續的時間長了。”麥克回答說。

　　篇四

　　a new employee

　　新員工

　　several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.

　　一個年輕人在被僱用幾個星期後，被叫到人事經理的辦公室。

　　what is the meaning of this? the director asked. when you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. now we discover this is the first job you ever held.

　　這是什麼意思?經理問，當你申請這份工作時，你告訴我們有五年工作經驗，現在我們發現這其實是你的第一份工作。

　　well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.

　　嗯，年輕人回答，你們的廣告上說需要找一個有想象力的人嘛。