英語短篇笑話大全爆笑
笑話,顧名思義,是一種通過幽默的文字或圖示來達到令人會心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學形式。小編精心收集了爆笑短篇英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!
爆笑短篇英語笑話篇1
Helen was on her deathbed ,
海倫躺在她臨終的病床上奄奄一息。
with her husband Jack at her side.
她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
他握著她冰冷的手，淚水靜靜地從他的臉上流下來。
Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"
她蒼白的嘴脣顫動著。她說：“傑克，”
Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don't talk."
他很快就打斷說：“噓，不要說話。”
But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.
但是她堅持要說。她以疲憊的聲音說：
"I have to talk.I must confess.”
“傑克，我一定要說。我必須向你坦白。”
"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.
滿臉淚水的傑克說：“沒什麼好坦白的。
"It's all right.Everything's all right."
沒關係。一切都沒事。”
"No,No!I must die in peace.I must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."
“不，不，我必須死得安心。我一定要坦白我對你不忠;紅杏出牆。”
Jack stroked her hand .
傑克撫摸著她的手。
"Now ,Helen,don't be concerned.I know all about it," he sobbed.
他啜泣著說：“海倫 ，現在你不要擔心了。我全部都知道了。
"Why else would I poison you ?"
不然我為什么要毒死你呀?"
爆笑短篇英語笑話篇2
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening.
有兩名社會工作者在晚上的時候 走過市區的簡陋地方。
They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane.Upon investigation,
他們聽到從後巷傳來的求救呻吟聲和很小的哭喊聲。
they found a semiconscious man in a pool of blood.
他們發現有一個意識不清的人躺在血泊之中。
"Help me,I've been mugged and viciously beaten " he pleaded.
他在懇求說：“救救我吧，我被人行凶搶劫，還遭到惡意痛打一頓。”
The two social workers turned and walked away .
這兩名社會工作者轉身離去。
One remarked to her colleague: " You know the person that did this really needs help."
其中一位向她的同事說：“你知道吧，於下這擋事的火才真 的需要協助呀。”
爆笑短篇英語笑話篇3
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain .
有名年輕女子去看醫生，怨忿地說著她的病痛。
"Where are you hurting?"asked the doctor.
醫生問她：“你哪裡痛?”
"You have to help me,I hurt all over",said the woman,
女子說：“你一定要幫幫我，我全身痛。”
"What do you mean ,all over ?"asked the doctor,"be a little more specific."
醫生問說：“什麼意思呀，全身?講更明確一點吧”
The woman toughed her right knee with her index finger and yelled,
這名女子用她的指碰觸右膝，痛得直叫;
"Ow,that hurts."Then she toughed her left cheek and again yelled,
“哎唷，那裡好痛呀。”然後她碰觸左臉頰，又痛得直叫：
"Ouch!That hurts ,too.”Then she toughed her right earlobe ,
“哎呀，那裡也好痛呀。”然後她碰觸右耳垂，她哭喊說：
"Ow,even THAT hurts ,she cried.
“哎呀，連那裡也好痛呀。”
The doctor checked her thoughtfull for a moment and told her his diagnosis,"You have a brokenfinger."
醫生體貼地替她檢查了一會兒，然後把診斷結果告訴她：“你的手指斷了啦。”