有關簡單的英語笑話欣賞

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。小編精心收集了有關簡單的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　有關簡單的英語笑話：Naming twins

　　A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and goes into a coma.

　　After nearly six months, she wakes up to find that she is no longer pregnant.

　　Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

　　The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them, if you don't mind me saying he does seem a bit of a redneck!"

　　The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

　　"Denise," the doctor says.

　　The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not such a bad name! I like Denise!"

　　Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

　　The doctor replies, "DeNephew."

　　有關簡單的英語笑話：Redneck cops

　　It is 10:00 at the police station and there is only 2 officers working that day... Billy-Bob and Billi-Jo.

　　Billy-bob, "Hey billi-jo...can I stick my finger in your belly-button?"

　　Billi-jo, "Sure billy-bob!"

　　...now its 11:00 at the police station...

　　Billy-bob, "Hey Billi-jo...can I stick my finger in your belly-button?"

　　Billi-jo, "Sure Billy-bob!"

　　...now its midnight... and the power goes out...!!

　　Billy-bob, "Hey Billi-jo... can I stick my finger in your belly-button?"

　　Billi-jo, "Sure billy-bob!... wait! Billy-bob thats not my belly-button."

　　Billy-bob, "I know... and thats not my finger!"

　　有關簡單的英語笑話：Vasectomy

　　After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough little hillbillies, as they could not afford a larger bed.

　　The husband went to his veterinarian ***of course*** and told him that he and his cousin-wife didn't want to have any more children and asked what could be done.

　　The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but it was expensive.

　　"A less costly alternative is to go home, get a cherry bomb, ***fireworks are legal in Alabama*** light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

　　The Alabaman said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can and holding it next to my ear and counting to 10 is going to help me."

　　"Trust me," said the doctor.

　　So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can to his ear and began to count...

　　"1"

　　"2"

　　"3"

　　"4"

　　"5"

　　At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.

　　有關簡單的英語笑話：I ain't going

　　The teacher in a Redneck school asked a little girl if she was going to the fair. "No, I ain't going," was the reply.

　　The teacher corrected the child: "You must not say, 'I ain't going,' you must say, 'I am not going.'

　　"And she added to impress the point: "I am not going. He is not going. We are not going. You are not going. They are not going. Now, dear, can you say all that?"

　　The little girl nodded and smiled brightly.

　　"Sure!" she replied. "They ain't nobody going."

　　有關簡單的英語笑話：Where's Henry?

　　A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of a ten point buck.

　　"Where's Henry?"

　　"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

　　"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"

　　"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."