幽默趣味英語笑話精選

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.If he sneezed.he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold. If he had a headache，he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours. He spent more time at home than he did at school. On the days that he did go to school，he looked for excuses to come home early. One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished. His father was surprised.

　　湯姆討厭上學，總是找藉口不去上學。如果他打噴嚏，他就叫他媽媽寫個紙條說他感冒了。如果他頭痛，他就叫他媽媽在上課時間帶他去看病。他待在家裡的時間比在學校的時間多。在他去上學的日子裡，他就找藉口早點回家。一天早上他上了一半課就從學校回來了。他爸爸很驚訝。

　　"You’ve come home early.”he said.“Is the school closed today?

　　"No，Dad，"Tommy said，“It’s open. I camehome early.”

　　“你回來很早，”他爸爸問，“今天學校放學了嗎?”

　　"How did you do that”his father asked him. "What did you say to the teacher”

　　“沒有，爸爸，”湯姆說，“還沒放學。我提前回來了。”

　　"I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you."

　　“你怎麼會提前回來了?”爸爸問，“你對老師說什麼了?”

　　"But your mother has had twins，"his father said，"a boy and a girl. You’ve got a baby brother and a baby sister.”

　　“我告訴她我有了一個小弟弟，我得回家幫你。”

　　"Yes，I know，Dad，”Tommy said.“I’m saving up my baby sister for next week.”

　　“但是你媽媽生了一對雙胞胎，”爸爸說，“一個男孩，一個女孩。你有一個小弟弟和一個小妹妹。”

　　Mr.Day was a teacher at a school in a big city in the north.of England. He usually went to France or Germany for a few weeks during his summer holidays，and he spoke French and German quite well.

　　戴先生是英格蘭北部一個大城市裡的中學教師。在暑假期間他通常到法國或德國去度幾周的假，他的法語和德語都講得相當好。

　　But one year Mr. Day said to one of his friends，“I’m going to have a holiday in Athens.But I don't speak Greek, so I'll go to evening classes and have Greek lessons for a month before I go.”

　　然而有一年，戴先生對他的一位朋友說:“我準備上雅典去度假。可是我不會講希臘語，所以去雅典前刻名先去夜校進修一個月的希臘語課程。”

　　He studied very hard for a month，and then his holidays began and he went to Greece.

　　他很用功地學了一個月後，他的假期也接著開始了，於是他就去了希臘。

　　When he came back a few weeks later，his friend said to him，“Did you have any trouble with your Greek when you were in Athens，Dick?"

　　幾周後，他回來了，他的朋友問他說:“迪克，你在雅典時，鍘爾的希臘語有沒有遇到困難?”

　　"No，I didn’t have any trouble with it,"answered Mr. Day.“But the Greeks did!”

　　戴先生回答說:“沒有，我的希臘語用來得心應手，倒是那些希臘人遇到了麻煩。”

　　Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.

　　當克萊頓教授沿著倫敦西區的一個廣場走著的時候，他看見一個小傢伙正試圖抓住一所大房子的門環。

　　"Can’t you reach up so high? "asked the professor kindly.

　　“你是不是夠不到這麼高的地方呢?”教授好意地問。

　　"No，Slr,”said the small youngster.