幽默趣味英語小笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：爸爸寫的遺囑

　　My father, who was 14 years old than my mother, had been working on his will. At a family dinner he told us that he had provided well for mother, but the family home would go to us five children if she remarried.

　　我爸比我媽大14歲，最近一直在寫遺囑。一次家宴上，他告訴我們說他為母親以後的生活作好了安排，但如果她改嫁的話，家裡的房子將歸我們五個孩子所有。

　　"I don't want another S.O.B. toasting his shins***小腿骨*** around my fireplace," he explained.

　　“我可不願意另外哪個***在我的火爐旁烤他的狗腿，”他解釋道。

　　With a sly grin, Mother cracked, "What makes you think I'd marry another S.O.B?"

　　媽媽狡猾地咧了咧嘴，譏誚道：“你怎麼認為我會再嫁給一個***?”

　　幽默趣味英語小笑話：三個商人的不同招牌

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining***毗連的*** shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem***故意的傷害罪，蓄意的破壞*** to ensue.

　　三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪，旁觀者等著瞧好戲。

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!

　　右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：大減價!特便宜!

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!

　　左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：大砍價!大折扣!

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.

　　中間的商人隨後準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：***處。

　　幽默趣味英語小笑話：園藝手套

　　For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you'll notice that my hands are bare."

　　幾個月以來，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的結婚戒指，因為我對黃金有點過敏。生日那天，我正在幹園藝活時，丈夫問我想要什麼禮物，我舉起雙手說：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的兩手都是光光的。”

　　Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped***開啟*** a new pair of gardening glove.

　　那天晚上，我滿懷熱情地拆開了丈夫送的禮物，“生日快樂!”他說。我開啟一看：裡面包著一雙園藝手套。