放鬆心情英語幽默故事
在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!
：聰明的目擊人
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying.
有一名車禍目擊證人正在出庭作證。
The lawyer asked him,"Did you actually see theaccident?"
律師問他：“你確實看見了這起車禍嗎?”
The witness:"Yes,sir."
目擊證人說：“是的， 長官."
The lawyer :"How far away were you when the accident happened?"
律師說：“當車禍發生的時候，你在多遠的地方?”
The witness:"Thirty-one feet,six and one quarter inches."
目擊證人說：“三十一英尺，六又四分之一 英尺。”
The lawyer***thinking he'd trap the witness***:"Well ,sir,will you please tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"
這名律師說***心想他會讓這務目擊證人陷，入陰謀的勘計之中***：“那好吧，先生，請你告訴陪審團，你怎麼知道確實是那個距離暱?”
The witness:"Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it.I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that silly question."
目擊證人說:“因為當車禍發生的時候，就拿出了卷盡測量過宦。我早知道會莉一個令人傷腦筋.律師問。我那個蠢問題 。”
：接聽熨斗
A guy walks into his office ,and both of his ears are all bandaged up.
有一個人走進他的辦公室，他的兩個耳朵都包紮了繃帶。
The boss says,"What happened to your ears?"
老闆說：“你的耳朵怎麼啦?”
He says,"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang!I accidentally answered the iron.
他說：“昨天電話響的時候，我正在用熨斗燙襯衫。我竟然無意閭就把熨斗拿來接聽。
The boss says,"Well,that expains one ear,but what happened to your other ear?"
老闆說：“ 嗯，好吧，那解釋了一個耳朵，可是你的另一個耳朵又是怎麼一回事呀?”
He says,"Well,jeez,I had to call the doctor!"
他說：“嗯，哎呀!我得打電給醫生嘛!”
：糟糕的上班日
A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee.
有一名男子加入一家大型跨國。公司接受訓練。
On his first day at work,he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,
在他上班的第一天，他撥電話到餐飲室，並且，對著電話大聲喊!
"Get me a coffee quickly!"
“ 快點給我送杯咖啡過來!”
The voice from the other side responded,
電話另外-端的聲音卻響應說:
"You fool you have dialed the wrong extension!Do you know who you are talking to,dumbo?"
“你這個笨蛋，你撥錯分機了!蠢蛋，你知道你在跟誰說話嗎?”這名受訓的人回答說，
"No,"replied the trainee.
“不知道。”“你這個笨蛋，我是公司的總經理。”
The man shouted back immediately,
這名男子立刻大聲吼回去：
"And do you know who you are talking to,you fool?"
“你這個笨蛋，你知道你在跟誰說話嗎?…總經理回答：
"No,replied the General Manager.
“不知道。”這名受訓 的人周答說：
"Good !",replied the trainee and then put down the phone!
“很好!”，然後就把電話給掛了。