經典英語幽默故事
在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放鬆自己的心情。下面是小編為大家帶來三則，希望大家喜歡!
：主啊為什麼是我
A man was wandering around in a field ,
有名男子在田野裡徘徊
thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her,
心裡想著他的老婆對他有多麼好，他多麼幸運擁有她。
He asked God,"Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
他問上帝：“你為什麼要把她造得這麼心地善良?”
The Lord responded,"So you could love her ,my son."
主響應說：“我兒 呀，這樣你就會愛她呀。”
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
“你為什麼要把她造得這麼貌美呢?”
"So you could love her,my son ."
“我兒呀，這樣你就會愛她呀。”
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
“你為什麼要把她造成一個很會做飯菜的人呢?”
"So you could love her,my son."
“我兒呀，這樣你就會愛她呀。”
The man thought about this.
這名男子想了一下這件事。
Then he said ," I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything,but,why did you make her so stupid? "
然後他說:“我並不是有意好像我不知好歹，或是什麼的,可是，你為什麼把她造得這麼笨?”
"So she could love you,my son."
“ 我兒呀，這樣她就會愛你呀。”
：安然死亡
Helen was on her deathbed ,
海倫躺在她臨終的病床上奄奄一息。
with her husband Jack at her side.
她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
他握著她冰冷的手，淚水靜靜地從他的臉上流下來。
Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"
她蒼白的嘴脣顫動著。她說：“傑克，”
Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don't talk."
他很快就打斷說：“噓，不要說話。”
But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.
但是她堅持要說。她以疲憊的聲音說：
"I have to talk.I must confess.”
“傑克，我一定要說。我必須向你坦白。”
"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.
滿臉淚水的傑克說：“沒什麼好坦白的。
"It's all right.Everything's all right."
沒關係。一切都沒事。”
"No,No!I must die in peace.I must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."
“不，不，我必須死得安心。我一定要坦白我對你不忠;紅杏出牆。”
Jack stroked her hand .
傑克撫摸著她的手。
"Now ,Helen,don't be concerned.I know all about it," he sobbed.
他啜泣著說：“海倫 ，現在你不要擔心了。我全部都知道了。
"Why else would I poison you ?"
“不然我為什么要毒死你呀?"
：心臟移植
A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER.
有一名男子患有心贓病，被送往醫院急診室。
The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.
醫生告訴他，除非他立刻接受心臟移植，否則他就活不成。
Another doctor runs into the room and says,
另外一名，醫生跑進急診室說：
"you are in luck,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one you want.One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."
“你真幸運，剛好有兩個心臟可移植，所以你要選擇你要哪一個心臟。一個是屬於律師，另一個是屬於社會工作者。”
The man quickly responds,"the attorney's ."
這名男子很快響應說：“律師的。”
The doctor says,"Wait!Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"
醫生說：“等等!你不想在你做決定之前瞭解一下他們嗎?”
The man says,"I already know enough.We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and theattorney's probably never used his .So I will take attorney's!"
這名男子說：“我已經知道夠了。大家都知道社會工作者都是流血的***有同情心的***心臟，而律師的心臟可能從來都不曾用過他的。所以我選擇律師的心臟。"