比較爆笑的英語笑話閱讀
近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在網際網路、電視節目、書籍雜誌上廣泛流傳。小編整理了比較爆笑的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
比較爆笑的英語笑話篇一
小心有狗
As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"
一名陌生人走進一家鄉間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖著的一個告示牌上寫著，“危險! 小心有狗!” 進去後，他看到一條樣子一點都不凶的老狗趴在收款機旁邊的地板上睡覺。 “這就是大夥都得留神的那隻狗啊?” 陌生人問店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 聽到這個回答， 陌生人覺得很好笑。“我覺得那條狗一點都不可怕。 你帖那個告示做什麼?” “因為，” 店主解釋說，“在我帖告示之前， 大夥老被他絆倒。”
比較爆笑的英語笑話篇二
蘑菇與毒蕈
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?
年少的童子軍：我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒蕈區別開呢?
Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
年長的童子軍：上床前吃一個。如果你第二天早上醒來，那就是蘑菇。
比較爆笑的英語笑話篇三
Three men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Accountant, the second man was a Chemist, the third was a Government Worker.
To show off, the Accountant called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 3 equal piles of 4 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.
Then the two men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
三個男人在吹噓他們的貓有多麼聰明。第一個男人是個會計師，第二個男人是個化學家，第三個則是個公務員。
為了炫耀，會計師叫來他的貓，然後說：“Spreadsheet，幹你的活去。”Spreadsheet走進了廚房，拿回來一打曲奇餅乾，再分成3堆，每堆四塊。每個人都覺得乾的很好。
但是化學家說他的貓可以做的更好。他叫來他的貓然後說：“Measure，幹你的活去。”Measure起身，走到冰箱那去，拿出來一夸脫牛奶，再從櫥櫃裡拿出一個10盎司的玻璃杯，在裡面準確無誤地倒入了8盎司牛奶，一滴都沒撒。每個人都覺得乾的很好。
這三個人對公務員說，“你的貓可以幹什麼?”公務員叫來他的貓然後說：“Coffee break，幹你的活去。”Coffee Break跳到他的腳邊，吃掉了曲奇，喝掉了牛奶，這樣做的時候號稱背受傷了，然後寫了一份委屈的報告說工作環境實在不安全，交給工會後，回家度過了剩下的一天。