用英語講個笑話

　　笑話不僅能夠折射出社會生活中的方方面面,而且,笑話可以在說笑中蘊含著人們對於美好生活的期盼和訴求。下面是小編帶來的英語笑話帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀!

　　英語笑話帶翻譯篇一

　　Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸

　　A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

　　在休倫湖釣完魚後，我的一個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。 他沒帶手機，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。 於是，他爬到他的船裡面，啟動了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸護衛隊警官作出了迴應，“報告你的位置”。“I-75號公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會之後，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時開得有多快?”

　　英語笑話帶翻譯篇二

　　Very stupid robbers 兩個笨賊

　　Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"

　　The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"

　　The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"

　　兩個盜賊在一家旅館偷東西。第一個說：“我聽到警報響了，快跳吧!”

　　第二個說：“但是我們現在在第13層啊!”第一個尖叫著回敬他：“都什麼時候了，還這麼迷信!”

　　英語笑話帶翻譯篇三

　　聽笑話學英語:Free advice? 免費的建議?

　　A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interruptedby people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hourof this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from askingyou for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

　　"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked,but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared thebills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

　　醫生和律師正在一個宴會上交談。他們的談話常被一些人打斷，那些人向醫生描述自己的病症，期望獲得免費的治療建議。如此這般一個鐘頭後，醫生有點惱火，於是他問律師：“如果不在辦公時間，你是怎麼阻止人們向你諮詢法律問題的?”

　　“我會給他們建議，”律師回答，“然後我會給他們寄去帳單”。醫生很震驚，但他還是決定這麼試一試。第二天，帶著點犯罪感，他準備了帳單。當他準備將它們放到郵箱裡時，發現了一張來自律師的帳單。

　　英語笑話帶翻譯篇四

　　Chicken soup 雞湯

　　Joe was in the hospital and it was time for lunch. He looks at his lunch and says, "I don't likechicken soup, bring something else." The hospital worker said, "It's good for you, the doctorsaid you should have it." Regardless, the patient refused to eat it. That night, a patient in theroom with Joe had a bad stomach pain so the nurses came in to give him an enema. Bymistake, they gave the enema to Joe. The following week, when he was leaving the hospital, anew patient asked him how he liked the hospital. He told him, "Well, the hospital itself is prettygood, but they're very strict about their food. when they bring up chicken soup you better eatit, or else they'll come back in the middle of the night and shove it up your behind!"

　　Joe在住院，一天午餐時間，他看了看自己的飯菜，說：“我不喜歡雞湯，拿點別的給我吧。”醫院的護工說：“雞湯對您的身體有好處，醫生說您得喝這個。” 無論如何，Joe還是不肯喝。那天晚上，和Joe同房間的一個病人得了嚴重的胃病，於是護士過來給他灌腸。可是他們搞錯了，給Joe做了灌腸。第二個禮拜，Joe出院時，新住進來的病人問他覺得醫院怎麼樣。Joe告訴他：“這個醫院本身是很好的，但是他們對伙食真的很嚴格，如果他們讓你喝雞湯，你最好喝了它，不然他們會半夜過來硬是從你後面塞進去!”

　　英語笑話帶翻譯篇五

　　Chaude and Cold 熱與冷

　　A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is anoutrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."

　　"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live inMontreal."

　　"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."

　　"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."

　　蒙特利爾咖啡館的一位顧客擰開盥洗室的水龍頭，結果被水燙傷了。“這太可惡了，”他抱怨道，“標著C的龍頭流出的是開水。”

　　“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法語裡代表'熱'。如果您住在蒙特利爾的話就應該知道這一點。”

　　“等等，”那位顧客咆哮著，“另外一個龍頭標的也是C。”

　　“那當然，”經理說道：“這個C代表冷。畢竟，蒙特利爾是個雙語城市。”