讓人笑不停的英語笑話

　　笑話以其短小的篇幅,洗練的文筆,幽默的情節,獨有的魅力吸引著我們每一個人,成為大家茶餘飯後的調味劑。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Open-book exam開卷考試

　　ON THE DAY of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks.

　　我在加利福尼亞的聖瑪麗亞市一所社群大學讀書。期末考試那天，聽說書店在回購我們的工商管理課本。

　　Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.

　　考試前，我們幾個趕忙跑到書店把書賣了，隨後，我們坐在教室裡等著考試。這時候教授宣佈：考慮到試題的難度，今天的考試我們決定開卷。

　　篇二

　　Taking attendance 點名

　　On my first day of classes at my University I took a front-row seat in my literature course.

　　大學的第一天，文學課我坐在了前排。

　　The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began,

　　教授告訴我們這學期必須得讀五本書，他提供我們可供選擇的作者名單。隨後他緩步走上講臺，拿出課本，

　　"Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance."

　　“貝克、布萊克、布魯斯、卡特、庫克…”為了寫下所有的名字，我不得不瘋狂的作著記錄。這時有人輕輕的拍我肩膀，坐在我後面的學生悄悄告訴我：“他在點名呢。”

　　篇三

　　你太晚了 You are too late

　　On a bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.

　　"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. MY wife did it before you."

　　在公共汽車上，有個人發現小偷把手伸到了他的口袋裡o

　　"對不起,"他對小偷說，"你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做過同樣的事情了。”

　　篇四

　　What is your offense 你做了什麼壞事

　　It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?”

　　聖誕佳節到來，法官心情愉悅地問犯人：“你做了什麼壞事啊?”

　　“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.

　　“我今年聖誕節購物早了些”犯人回答。

　　“There's nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. How early were you doing this shopping?”

　　“這麼做沒錯啊，”法官說：“到底多早之前啊?“

　　“Before the store opened, ”answered the prisoner.

　　“商店開門之前“犯人答道。

　　篇五

　　Problem with gas

　　放屁的問題

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, ¨Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never small and are always silent.

　　有位小老太太去看醫生，她對醫生說：”醫生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實也不是大問題，因為我放屁不臭而且沒聲音。

　　As a matter Of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know l was farting because they don't smell and are silent.” The doctor says, ¨I see, Here's aprescription.

　　事實上，自從我進了你辦公室後，已經放了至少20個屁了，但是你並不知道對吧，因為我的屁不臭，而且還沒聲音。"醫生說：“好的，我明白了。

　　Take these piles 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, ¨I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent... stink terribly.

　　吃這個藥片，一天三次連續吃七天，下星期你再來。一個星期後，老太太來了，¨醫生，你到底給的我什麼藥，現在我放屁還是沒聲音。

　　The doctor says, “Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

　　但是怎麼這麼臭"醫生說：太好了!既然你的嗅覺正常了，門開始治聽覺吧。¨