帶漢語翻譯的英語笑話

　　笑話由於其滑稽可笑的特點而為人們長久以來所喜愛。而人們對笑話的熱衷與喜愛也促使人們在開懷捧腹的同時對笑話為何能夠使人發笑這一問題進行思考。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：The Perfect Son 完美的兒子

　　A: I have the perfect son.

　　B: Does he smoke?

　　A: No, he doesn't.

　　B: Does he drink whiskey?

　　A: No, he doesn't.

　　B: Does he ever come home late?

　　A: No, he doesn't.

　　B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

　　A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

　　A：我有一個很完美的兒子。

　　B：他抽菸嗎?

　　A：不抽。

　　B：他喝威士忌酒嗎?

　　A：不喝。

　　B：他會不會很晚回家?

　　A：不會。

　　B：我想你確實有一個完美兒子。那他多大了?

　　A：下個星期三就滿6個月了。

　　：Is that clock right? 這鐘準確嗎?

　　Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, What's the time, please?

　　After a few months, Dan said to himself, I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here. Then he did so.

　　Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time, he thought happily. But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, Is that clock right?

　　丹在一個大城市的某個俱樂部當守門人。每天都有數千人經過他的門口，而且許多人都會停下來問他:請問現在幾點?

　　幾個月後，丹想：我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問題了，我要去買一隻大鐘，把它掛在這兒的牆上。於是他買了一隻鍾，把它掛在了牆上。

　　現在人們總不會再停下來問我時間了。他高興地想。可是打那以後，每天仍有許多人停下來，看看鐘，然後問丹：這鐘準嗎?

　　：I want to go out 我想出去

　　A shop owner closed his shop and went home. He was very tired but just as he went to bed, the telephone rang. A man asked, "What time do you open your shop?"

　　The owner was angry about this phone call. He put down the telephone without answering and went back to bed. A few minutes later, his telephone rang again and the man asked the same questions. The owner became very angry and he shouted, "You needn't ask me when I open the shop for I won't let you in."

　　"Oh, no, I don't want to get in," the man said, "I want to go out now . "

　　一個店老闆關閉了店鋪，回家去了。他非常疲憊，但就在他剛躺下時電話鈴響了。一個人問：“你什麼時候開啟你的店?”

　　店主很不高興這個電話。沒有回答，他放下聽筒，回去睡覺。幾分鐘後，電話又響了，該名男子問同樣的問題。店老闆非常生氣，他喊道：“你不用問我什麼時候開啟店鋪，因為我不會讓你……”

　　“哦，不。我不想進去，”那人說：“我想出去。”

　　：Only one piece of meat 只有一塊肉

　　Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.

　　 a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

　　顧客：服務員，我盤子裡怎麼只有一塊肉?

　　服務員：先生，請稍候，我去把它切成兩塊。

　　：交通事故

　　A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'"

　　有個人開車行駛在上班的路上，一輛卡車闖紅燈從側面撞上了他的車，當時他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他從車裡拉出來並喚醒他。剛一醒過來，他就拼命的掙扎著，最後不得不用了藥物才讓他鎮靜下來。過了一會兒，他平靜了，別人問他為什麼要這麼恐怖的掙扎，他說：“被撞之後我就什麼都不知道了，當我醒過來，我發現我躺在了路邊，前面是一個巨大的廣告牌上面閃爍著‘殼牌，但是有個人擋住了那個‘S’。”