帶翻譯的英語幽默笑話
笑話,不同文化背景的人的反應有時是不同的,甚至會截然相反。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!
精選
***一***
真正便宜的東西 something Really Cheap
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.“How about some perfume?”he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.“That’s a bit much,”said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.“That’s still quite a bit,”Tim complained.Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.“What I mean,”said Tim, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.”The clerk handed him a mirror.
做完生意回來後，提姆覺得應該給妻子帶點什麼禮物回去。“那些香水怎麼賣啊?”他問賣化妝品的售貨員。售貨員給他展示了一支價值50美元的香水。“看起來好像有點貴哦!”提姆說道。於是售貨員又拿出一款30美元的香水。“還是貴了點。”提姆抱怨道。售貨員開始有點惱火了，就給提姆一瓶很小的香水，價值15美元。“我的意思是，”提姆說，“我想看看一些真正便宜的東西。”售貨員聽了後，遞給了提姆一面鏡子。
***二***
Now We Run 現在我們跑吧
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press adoorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is toohigh for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer tothe boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, placeshis hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down tothe child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"
一個牧師正沿著街走路，這時他看到街對面有個小男孩正試圖按一所房子的門鈴。但這個小孩太小了，門鈴又高，他夠不著。看到那個小男孩費了很多勁，牧師走近了他。牧師優雅地穿過馬路，走到小傢伙的背後，輕輕地把手放在小男孩肩頭，按響了門鈴。他彎下身子，微笑著問道：“接下來怎麼辦，孩子?”小男孩回答說：“接下來我們跑。”
閱讀
***一***
我們什麼也沒留下 We Left Nothing
Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkmanon the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING." When she got back that night, shefound her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found thefollowing message added: "THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!"
布朗太太要外出一天。 她鎖好了房門，在門上給送牛奶的人釘了一張便條：“家裡沒人，請不要留下任何東西!” 她當天晚上回家後發現房間門被撞開，房子被洗劫一空。在她留給送奶人的便條上，她發現被補充了一句：“謝謝!我們什麼也沒留下!”
***二***
Goldfish 金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們?
Stan: In the bathroom.
斯丹：浴室。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎麼辦?
Stan: Blindfold***矇眼睛*** them!
斯丹：矇住它們的眼睛!
學習
***一***
豬還是女巫 Pig or Witch
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The manimmediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH***女巫***!!" They each continue on theirway, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. Ifonly men would listen.
一個男人在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車，一個女人相向駕車而來。他們相遇時，那個女的從窗中伸出頭來叫到：“豬!!”那個男的立即從窗中伸出頭來回敬道：“女巫!!”他們繼續前行。這個男的在下一個路口轉彎時，撞上了路中間的一頭豬。要是這個男的能聽懂那個女人的意思就好了。
***二***
Dating for Mother 約會
When the young waitress in the café in Tom’s building started waving hello everyday. Tom wasflattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned toTom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?" "Why, yes," Tom replied,smiling at her broadly. "So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
在湯姆工作的大樓裡有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因為這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對湯姆招手並示意湯姆過去。於是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現在是單身嗎?” “對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。 “我母親也是，”她說，“您願不願意見見她?”