適合成人的英語笑話大全

　　笑話是一種用來逗笑取樂的文體。笑話,不僅能讓同學們在日常生活和學習中不時地會心一笑,還能從中學習到不少的英語知識。小編精心收集了適合成人的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　適合成人的英語笑話：Getting a Promotion

　　A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions andpromotion.

　　"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.

　　"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.

　　"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

　　"Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop." said the Priest.

　　"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.

　　"If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, it's possible for me to become a full Bishop." said the Priest.

　　"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.

　　The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become aCardinal."

　　"And then?" asked the Rabbi.

　　The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."

　　"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

　　"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"

　　"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"

　　適合成人的英語笑話：Encountering a bear

　　A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. "Oh Lord," prayed the missionary, "Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion."

　　And then, in the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: "Oh Lord," he prayed, "I thank Thee for the food which I am about to receive."

　　適合成人的英語笑話：Worries about a risk

　　There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air.

　　The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monkswho pulled and tugged with all their strength.

　　Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.

　　With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."

　　適合成人的英語笑話：You won't go to jail

　　A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn?t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, "Don?t worry. You?ll never have to go to jail with all that money.? And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn?t have a dime.

　　適合成人的英語笑話：Lawyer consultation

　　A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely."

　　"Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."

　　The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.

　　Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.