關於適合演講的英語笑話

　　看笑話可以減少人生中的各種煩惱，使自己心情變得愉快。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Back In The Days

　　Back in the days of the old Wild Wild West lived a guy named Red who used to have a lot of fun. He rode into town like he usually did every Saturday night, and he went into the saloon and got drunk. All of his friends saw him drinking and decided to play a trick on him. So they went outside and turned the saddle on his horse around. That way they figured when he got outside drunk and they put him on there, he would get on home the best way he could! So when it was time, he got real drunk and staggered outside, got up on his horse and rode off.

　　The next morning when he woke up he says, "My goodness!"

　　And his wife says, "What?s a matter dear, don?t you feel alright?"

　　He said, "Yeah, but I sure had a tough time getting home last night."

　　"Some son of a gun cut my horses head off, and I had to guide him all the way home with my finger sticking in his windpipe!"

　　：The Foul Mouthed Parrot

　　Jimmy received a parrot for Christmas. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary.

　　Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music... anything he could think of. Nothing worked.

　　He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more rude.

　　Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.

　　Jimmy was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door.

　　The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior".

　　Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the Chicken did?"

　　：A Koala and a Hooker

　　A little koala bear wanders into a whorehouse. He climbs the stairs and finds a door open. He goes in to the room to find a naked prostitute asleep on the bed. He quickly climbs into the bed and begins performing oral sex on the prostitute.

　　She wakes up shocked and sees this koala bear going down on her, and she decides that since it feels so good she'll let him finish. The koala finishes, wipes his chin, climbs off the bed and heads for the door. The prostitute jumps up and yells at him "Hey, you have to pay for that".

　　The koala shrugs and continues to head for the door.

　　The prostitute yells at him again, "Hey you have to pay for that. I'm a prostitute". She gets up and pulls a dictionary off a shelf and shows the koala the definition.