適合演講的英文笑話閱讀

　　笑話能讓人開心。開心就好,不管是笑話還是其他。本文是適合演講的英文笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　適合演講的英文笑話：A Panda walks into a bar...

　　A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.

　　As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

　　The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:

　　"A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.

　　適合演講的英文笑話：Jesus and the Robber

　　One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"while he rumagged through the desk.

　　He replied, "Who said that?!"

　　Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"

　　The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its namewas. The parrot replied, "Cornelius."

　　The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"

　　The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"

　　適合演講的英文笑話：Talking Dog

　　In Mississippi, a guy sees a sign in front of a house:

　　"Talking Dog for Sale."

　　He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

　　"You talk?" he asks.

　　"Yep," the mutt replies.

　　"So, what's your story?"

　　The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm justretired."

　　The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

　　The owner says, "Ten dollars."

　　The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"

　　The owner replies, "He's just a big liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."