經典爆笑簡單英語笑話

　　冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語言現象,它輕鬆詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕鬆的情趣,它一出現便受到了大多數人的喜愛。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Wishing Well

　　A couple is taking a stroll in a lovely meadow when they come upon a wishing well. The woman leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a quarter.

　　Her husband decides he wants to make a wish, also. Unfortunately, he leans over too far, falls down into the well, and drowns.

　　The woman stands there shaken for a moment, and then exclaims, "BLOODY HELL, IT WORKS!!!"

　　：Husbands' Nicknames

　　Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.

　　One woman said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."

　　The second woman giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."

　　The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?"

　　She frowned and said, "The postman."

　　"Why the postman?"

　　"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."

　　：100 Nuns

　　The head Nun of the convent called all 100 Nuns into the foyer for an emergency meeting.

　　"Last night," She started "I found something terrible in one of the sisters rooms."

　　99 Nuns "Oh no"

　　1 Nun "He, he"

　　"A condom!" said the head Nun.

　　99 Nuns "Oh no"

　　1 Nun "He, he"

　　Head Nun "And it was used!"

　　99 Nuns "Oh no"

　　1 Nun "He, he"

　　Head Nun "And it had a hole in it!"

　　1 Nun "Oh no"

　　99 Nuns "He, he"

　　： Who's That Dog?

　　There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog begansnarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailedaround in the dust, he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered, ''Ain't my dog.''

　　：Six Feet Under The Sheets

　　Marge was in bed with a man ***not her husband***. All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. "Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?" "Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he ain't gonna notice you here with me." The fear of getting caught trying to escape was more powerful than the thought of getting caught in bed with Marge, so he trusted her advice. Sure enough, Marge's husband came crawling into bed and as he pulled the covers over him, he pulled the blankets, exposing six feet. "Honey!" he yelled. "What the hell is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!" "Dear, you're so drunk, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again." The husband got out of bed, and counted. "One, two, three, four... By gosh, you're right, dear!"