最搞笑的簡單英語小笑話

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：日復一日

　　A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up. He wouldcall on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose thesame student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him.

　　After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from hisfriends. The next day when the teacher said "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today ."

　　"All right," said the teacher. "You translate and explain."

　　一位老師對所講課文總是非常投入，從不抬頭。他常讓一個學生來翻譯和解釋，並且不自覺地，他常日復一日地叫同一個學生。出於尊敬，學生並不給他指出這一點。

　　一個叫古德伯格的學生，在被一連叫了四天之後，向他的朋友尋求建議。第二天，這位教師又說：“古德伯格，翻譯並解釋。”古德伯格回答說：“古德伯格今天缺席。”

　　“那好吧，”教師說，“那就你來翻譯並解釋。”

　　：飛鴿傳書

　　My husband asked me to go to the post office to mail his resume in anticipation of a job interview. He instructed me to send it the fastest way possible.

　　Struck by the urgency in his voice, I grabbed a handful of change and dashed out the door. Arriving at the post office, I rushed to the counter and breathlessly explained to the clerk that my envelope had to be delivered immediately . He casually weighed the envelope and said it would cost $ 10.03.I fumbled through my pockets and tallied up my coins. "But I don't have $ 10. 03, " I said. He punched some more buttons and said, "Okay, that will be $ 7. 40, ma am.

　　Once more I said in dismay, "Sorry, I don't have $ 7.40.

　　"Well," he sighed, "exactly how much do you have?"

　　I meekly answered, "I have exactly $ 2. 15, sir."

　　With that, he yelled over his shoulder to a coworker, "Hey, Charlie, get the pigeon ready.

　　郵政快遞

　　我丈夫讓我到郵局寄他的履歷，期望能得到工作面試的機會。他告訴我要用盡可能快的方式把它寄出去。

　　我感到他語氣緊急，就抓了一把零錢，衝出了家門。到了郵局，我衝到櫃檯，上氣不接下氣地向職員解釋說我的信必須馬上寄出。他漫不經心地稱了一下信的重量，說郵費是十元零三分。我翻遍了我的口袋，把所有的硬幣都算上。“可是我沒有十元零三分，”我說。他又敲了幾個鍵，然後說：“那好吧，七元四角，夫人。”

　　我又一次茫然地說：“對不起，我沒有七塊四。”

　　“那，”他嘆了口氣，“確切地說你有多少?”

　　我很謙和地回答道：“我有整整兩塊一角五分，先生。”

　　聽了這話，他轉過頭向身後的同事喊道：“嗨，查理，準備好鴿子。”

　　：晚飯準備好了的訊號

　　My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm. Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them.

　　I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.

　　"It's the smoke detector," they replied in unison.

　　"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.

　　"Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner's ready."

　　我的燒飯手藝向來是家庭笑話的攻擊目標。一天晚上，晚餐我準備得有點兒太快了，廚房裡充滿了煙，結果煙霧探查器報起警來。儘管我的兩個孩子都在學校裡接受過防火安全訓練，可是他們並沒有對報警聲作出反應。我感到很惱火，滿幢房子亂衝尋找他們。

　　我在洗漱間找到他們，發現他們正在洗手。我的聲音蓋過了煙霧警報的嗡嗡聲，我叫他們辨別那聲音。

　　“是煙霧探查器，”他們異口同聲地說。

　　“你們知道那聲音意味著什麼嗎?”我責問道。

　　“當然，”我的大孩子回答道，“晚飯準備好了。”