有關初中英語笑話大全

　　在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。小編精心收集了有關初中英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　有關初中英語笑話：THE TALKING PARROTS

　　A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

　　"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

　　"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

　　"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship."

　　"Thank you!" the woman responded.

　　The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

　　One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!"

　　有關初中英語笑話：BIZARRE REAL LIFE ANIMAL LAWS

　　In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

　　It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.

　　Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.

　　In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.

　　In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.

　　In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.

　　In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.

　　In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.

　　In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.

　　In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.

　　French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring all black cats to wear bells on Friday the 13th.

　　Madison, Wisconsin, will not allow joint custody of a family pet when a couple divorces - the animal is legally awarded to whoever happens to have possession of it at the time of the initial separation.

　　Dogs in Foxpoint, Wisconsin, may not bark profusely, snarl, or make any menacing gestures.

　　In Texas, it's illegal to put graffiti on someone else's cow.

　　It is illegal to ride a mule down Lang, Kansas' Main Street in August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.

　　Over in Berea, Kentucky and also in Willamantic, Connecticut, horses are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless the animal has a "bright" red taillight securely attached to its rump.

　　Horses may not wear cowbells inside the city limits of Tahoe City, California.

　　In Washington, though, every cow wandering the streets of Seattle must be wearing a cowbell.

　　In Burns, Oregon, horses are allowed in the town's taverns, if an admission fee is paid before they enter.

　　You can't blow your nose in public places in Leahy, Washington, because it might scare a horse and cause it to panic.

　　In Wanassa, New Jersey, a dog is breaking the law if it is heard to be "crying."

　　有關初中英語笑話：THE LONELY FROG

　　A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.

　　His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

　　The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

　　"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

　　有關初中英語笑話：Meals on Wheels

　　Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful -- she had to sleep in cold backalleys, where there was no food and life was hard. God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way -- but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on.

　　The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy.

　　A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth.

　　The earth was no better for them than it was the cat.

　　They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people. God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates.

　　One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven. She explained that it was absolutely wonderful.

　　The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels.