有關於初二英語笑話閱讀

　　近年來,冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象在網路、雜誌上十分盛行。若要推論現行冷笑話的來源,或已無從考證。小編分享有關於初二英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　有關於初二英語笑話：Bad Parrot

　　A man named Fred owned a parrot that hardly ever stoped talking. One day the man was going to have an old friend over so he told the parrot to be quiet or else he would flush him. The parrot kept talking and the man warned him again. It didn't work. The parrot kept right on talking. The man took the parrot and flushed him down the toilet. When Fred's friend arived he asked if he could use the bathroom. Fred said sure it is the first door on the right. When the man comes out he asks Fred if he has a tape player in the bathroom. Fred says no and than asks why. The man tells Fred that he heard something say "I see your heini, looks so shiny." So Fred and his friend go in there and Fred sees his parrot going in circles singing "Floatin' Down The River On A Big Brown Log"

　　有關於初二英語笑話：Back In The Days

　　Back in the days of the old Wild Wild West lived a guy named Red who used to have a lot of fun. He rode into town like he usually did every Saturday night, and he went into the saloon and got drunk. All of his friends saw him drinking and decided to play a trick on him. So they went outside and turned the saddle on his horse around. That way they figured when he got outside drunk and they put him on there, he would get on home the best way he could! So when it was time, he got real drunk and staggered outside, got up on his horse and rode off.

　　The next morning when he woke up he says, "My goodness!"

　　And his wife says, "What?s a matter dear, don?t you feel alright?"

　　He said, "Yeah, but I sure had a tough time getting home last night."

　　"Some son of a gun cut my horses head off, and I had to guide him all the way home with my finger sticking in his windpipe!"

　　有關於初二英語笑話：The Dog

　　Two Polish guys are walking down the street sharing insights. The smarter of the two sees a dog lying down and licking his balls. The less intelligent of the two says to his friend, "Don't you wish you could do that?"The second guy replies, "Don't you think he would bite me??

　　有關於初二英語笑話：The Foul Mouthed Parrot

　　Jimmy received a parrot for Christmas. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary.

　　Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music... anything he could think of. Nothing worked.

　　He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more rude.

　　Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.

　　Jimmy was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door.

　　The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior".

　　Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the Chicken did?"

　　有關於初二英語笑話：A Panda walks into a bar...

　　A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.

　　As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

　　The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:

　　"A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.