英文幽默笑話帶翻譯

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

　　"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

　　一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓,甚是得意.“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麼用的?”他的一個朋友問他.“那玩意兒厲害了,那是一個會說話的鐘”,學生回答.“這鐘怎麼工作的”,他的朋友問.“看著,別眨眼了”,那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子,拼命地敲了一下,聲音震耳欲聾.突然,他們聽到隔壁牆那邊有人狂叫,“別敲了,你這白痴!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!”

　　2：

　　While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard.

　　"Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.

　　"He says he wants some ketchup," my husband said calmly .　A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, "How in the world did you understand him?"

　　"I'm a dentist," my husband explained.

　　在飯店吃飯的時候，我申斥我4歲的兒子，因為他滿嘴食物在說話。“喔、呢”，我聽到的就是這些。 “祖，”我責備道，“沒人明白你在說什麼。” “他說他要一些番茄醬，”我丈夫平靜地說。坐在旁邊的一位婦女靠過來問道：“你究竟如何明白他的話的呢?” “我是牙醫。”我丈夫解釋道。

　　3：

　　Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

　　不速之客就在路上，我媽媽，一個完美的家庭主婦，正忙裡忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會兒之後，當她去檢查的時候，她吃驚了，曾經一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃乾淨了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫著：“謝謝你沒往浴缸裡看。”

　　4：

　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The

　　conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop,

　　he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

　　當一群婦女上車之後，車上的座位全都被佔滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，

　　他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”

　　“我沒有睡著。”那個男人回答。

　　“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”