生活幽默英語故事閱讀
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來生活幽默英語故事三則，希望大家喜歡!
生活幽默英語故事：戒除煙癮
Health is not valued till sickness comes.
生病才知健康好。
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.
一個被告捲入了一樁牽涉大筆資金的訴訟案，他去找他的律師。
A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.
如果我輸了這場官司，我就完了。
B:It's in the judge's hand now.
這事掌握在法官的手上。
A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?
如果我給法官送一箱雪茄，會不會起點作用?
B:Oh.no !This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn't even smile ai the judge.
哦.不會的!這位法官很固執，非常注意職業道德。這種花招只會讓他對你產生偏見，他甚至會認為你蔑視法庭。事實上，你甚至都不用對他微笑。
With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae,
最後，法官作了一個有利於被告的判決，當被告離開法院時。
A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked.
謝謝你關於雪茄的忠告，這很多管用。
B:I'm sure we wodd have lost the caae if you'd sent them.
如果你送了的話，我肯定休會輸掉這場官司。
A:But did send them.
但是我的確送了。
B:What? You did?!
什麼?你送了?!
A:Yes.That's how we won the case.
對，這就是我們會贏這場官司的原因。
B:I don't understand
我不明白。
A:It's easy.I sent the cigars to the judge,but enclosed the plaintiff's business card.
這很簡單，我把雪茄送到了{去官那裡，但是附上了原告的一張名片。
生活幽默英語故事：個人理財
A silvedess mon goes fast ihrough the market.
身上無錢，市場疾行
There once was a rich man who was near deeth. He wru very grieved because he had worked so hard for his numey. So he began to pray Lhat he rmght he ahle to take some of his weakh with him.
曾經有一個富人快要死了，他租傷心，因為為了錢他才拼命工作，他想把錢帶著一起上天堂，因此他開始祈禱懇求他能隨身帶一些財產.
A:Sorry,but you car't take your wealth with you.
對不起.你不能帶走財產。
B:Could you speakto Cod to see if he might hend the rules?
你跟上帝說說情吧，看能否網開一面?
***Then he continue to pray his wealth could follow him,and the angel reappears.***
他繼續祈禱能帶上財產，天使又出現了。
A:The Cod has decided to allow you to take one suitcase with yourself.
上帝允許你隨身帶一個手提箱。
***Overjoyed.the man gaLhers his largest suitcase and fills it,with pure gold bar s and places it beside his hed.Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Catea of Heaven to greet St.Peter. Peter sees the suit-case.
富人欣喜若狂，拿了他最大的手提箱，裡面裝滿了金條，然後放在床邊。不久這個富人死了，出現在天堂門口向聖彼得致意。聖稜得看到了那隻手提箱。***
C:Hold on. you can't bnng thatin here!
放下，你不能把那東西帶到這兒來。
B:But I have pennjssion and you can verify ny stcuy with the Lord.
但是我已經得到丁許可，你可以到上帝那兒證實一下。
C:You are rigt.You are allowed orie carry-on hag. Bm i'm supposed to check it's contents before letting through.
沒錯，你可以帶一隻手提箱，但我要檢查一下里面是什麼東西才能放行。
B：OK.
好的。
***Then he opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found to precious to leave behind.
於是聖彼得開啟手提箱檢查那位富人捨不得留在塵世間的寶貝。***
C:You bought our pavement?!
你把我們這兒鋪地磚帶來了?!
生活幽默英語故事：八卦娛樂圈
Be on your guard when people flatter you.
有人吹捧你的時候，千萬要當心。
Harry saw an ad in a window.It said:"Wanted.The Beat Salesman in the World.Top pay." I'm a eTeat salesman. Harry told himself.I can sell anything. PIl go in and ask for Lhat job. He wem into Lhe build-ing and spoke ro the manager.
哈里在櫥窗上看到一則廣告。上面寫著：“招聘世界上最好的售貨員，報酬優厚。”我是一名了不起的售貨員，哈里自言自語，任何東西我都能賣出去，我要進去應聘這份工作。他走進大樓去和經理說這件事。
A:I'm the besl salesman in the world.Give me the job.
我是世界上最好的售貨員，把這份工作給我吧。
B:You must prove you're the best.
你必須證明你是最好的。
A:I'll pass every test you give me.
我會通過你給我的每一次考驗的。
B:Good
好。
The manager took a box of candy out of his desk.
經理從桌子裡取出一箱糖果。***
B:Last week,I bought a thousand boxes of this candy. If you can sell them all before the end of the week,you can have the job.
我上星期買了IOOO箱這種糖果。如果你能在週末之前把這些全賣出去，你就能得到這份工作。
A:That's easy.
這很簡單。
*** He took the hox of candy and left the office.Every day and all day.,he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy. He couldn't sell one. The can dy was so bad he couldn't even give it away.
他拿著這箱糖果離開了辦公室。每天從早到晚，他從這家店走到那家店，竭力想賣出這1000箱糖果。結果他一箱也沒賣出去。糖果質量太差，以至於送人都沒人要。***
A: I'm sorry, sir, I was wrong about myself. I'm not the best salesman in the world, but I know who is.
很抱歉，先生，我搞錯了。我不是世界上最好的售貨員，但我知道誰是最好的。
B:Oh. Who?
哦，是誰?
A:The person who sold you a thousand boxes of this candy.
是把這1000箱糖果賣給你的人。