生活幽默英語故事
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!
：我為媽媽煮了一杯茶
Have you notlced that children sometimes tyr to be helpful,but lt makes vour life more complicated? This story is about a sick mother whose darUng daughter want to be a good nurse.
不知道你注意到沒有，孩子們有時想幫你的忙，但卻讓你的生活更加複雜。下面是一位患病的母親，她可愛的女兒想好好照顧她的故事。
A:Mummy,let me fluff the pillow fo you
媽媽，讓我把枕頭給你抖鬆。
B:OK.
好吧。
A:Mummy,here is a magazine you can read it.
媽媽，這是本雜誌，你可以看看它。
B:OK.Thank you!
好吧。謝謝你。
A:Mumrny,I make a cup of tea for you,here vou are.
媽媽，我為你煮了一杯茶，給你。
B:***Drinking*** Why.vou are auch sweetheafi,I didn't know you could make tea.
***喝茶***真是好女兒，我不知道休還會煮茶。
A:Oh.yes.I put the tea leaves in the water like you do,and I boiled it.and then I strained it into a cup.But I couldn't find a strainer, so I used the flyswatter.
哦，是的，我像你那樣把茶葉放在水中，煮開，然後我把它過濾到水杯裡。但是我找不到過濾器，我就用了蒼蠅拍。
B:You what?
你用了什麼?
A:Oh,don'l worry,Mummy.I didn't use the new flyswatter.I used the old one.
哦，別擔心，媽媽。我沒用新的蒼蠅拍，我用的是舊的。
：迷情酒吧
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar. One day, Mr.Tomposon and his son who had his eigh-teenth birthday go to a public bar.
英格蘭，不滿18歲是不允許到酒館喝酒的，一天湯普森在他兒子18歲生日那天，帶著他去了酒館。
A:You are so strict that you never took me here before, Daddy.
爸爸，你太嚴格了，以前你從不帶我來這裡。
B:Because you were not old enough.
因為你還不夠大。
A:I see.
我知道。
***After half an hour.半小時以後。***
B:Now, Tom,1 want to teach you a useful lesson. You must alway s be careful not to drink too much.
湯姆，現在我給你上一課。你必須注意永遠不要喝得過多。
A:Can I know when I have had enough?
我怎麼才能知道我喝夠了呢?
B:Well,I'll tell you.Do you see those two lights at the end o fthe bar?When they seem to have become four, you've had enough and should go home.
聽著，你看見酒館那頭的兩盞燈了嗎?當那兒的燈變成四盞的時候，你就喝夠了，該回家了。
A:But Dad,I can only see one light at the end of the bar.
可是，爸爸，我只看見那兒有一盞燈呀。
：霓裳炫影
When a village fool blossomed out all of a sudden in new clothes,the neighbors wondered at his property.
村子裡的白痴突然發了大財，穿上了新衣服，鄰居們對他的暴富感到很驚奇。
A:What's happened to you?
你做了什麼事?
B:1 won the first prize in the lottery.
我中了頭彩。
A:How did you come to guess the luck number?
你是怎麼猜中幸運號碼的?
B:Well, three times running I dreamed of seven; so I figured it out that three times seven are twenty-four, and I bought ticket number 24 I won the first prize.
哦，我做夢夢見了7這個號碼三次。於是我算出7的3倍是24.於是我買了號碼是24的彩票。這張票中了頭彩。
A:NVhy, you blamed fool, three times seven is twenty-one, not twenty-four.
哎呀，你這個該死的傻瓜，7的3倍是21不是24。
B:Is that so? Well, twenty-four won, anyway.
是這樣嗎?哦，不管怎麼說，24中了。