關於搞笑英語笑話帶翻譯

　　英語笑話為一種特殊的交際策略，它能夠幫助人們緩解尷尬的氣氛，從而保持和諧的人際關係。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Funny Health Quotes - Funny Quotes about Health

　　Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

　　Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

　　My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

　　If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.

　　Turns out we've all been eating the wrong thing...since the dawn of civilization!

　　My father died of cancer when I was a teenager. He had it before it became popular.

　　How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It's simple. I drink the blood of young runaways.

　　According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry lonely women, you'll be dead soon.

　　Serious illness doesn't bother me for long because I am too inhospitable a host.

　　I don't jog. If I die I want to be sick.

　　What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin.

　　健康趣話

　　----讀有關健康的書籍要小心，你可能死於印刷錯誤。

　　----有一天健康狂熱者會發現自己很愚蠢，當他們躺在醫院裡一無所獲地死去。

　　----肌肉來了又走，肥肉卻堅持到了最後。

　　----我的醫生最近告訴我慢跑可以增加我的壽命，我想他是對的，因為我已經覺得自己得到了十年***老了十歲***。

　　----如果我知道我會活那麼久，我應試好好照顧我的身體。

　　----好象我們一直在吃錯誤的東西----自從進入了文明社會。

　　----我父親在我十幾歲的時候死於癌症，那時候癌症還不那麼流行。

　　----為什麼我能保持健康和少年時的英俊，很簡單，我喝年輕的逃亡者的血。

　　----新的研究結果表明，婚姻美滿的女人得心血管疾病的可能性要小於未婚女人，所以，單身女人，不要再為自己操心了，你們不會活太久的。

　　----嚴重的疾病都不會打擾我太久，因為我是個很不好客的主人。

　　----我不慢跑，如果要死的話，我希望死於疾病。

　　----他們告訴你最健康的食物是哪兩樣?是雞和魚----那你應該怎樣做?把兩樣合併起來----吃企鵝。

　　篇二

　　The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn't figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud."

　　兩個男孩子在後院露營，他們不知道到了晚上幾點鐘。於是，一個男孩對另外一個說：“我們開始大聲唱歌就行了。”

　　"How will that help?" said the second boy.

　　“那就會知道時間嗎?”第二個男孩問。 "Just do it," insisted the first.

　　“只管唱吧。”第一個堅持道。Both boys broke into song, singing at the top of their lungs. Moments later, a neighbor threw open her window and shouted, "Keep it down! Don't you know it's three o'clock in the morning?"

　　兩個孩子開始大聲唱歌，過了一會兒，一個鄰居開啟窗戶喊道：“小聲點!你們不知道現在是凌晨三點嗎?”

　　篇三

　　Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.

　　從前有個瞎子。一天，他正在行路時踩著了一隻正在睡覺的狗的腦袋，狗汪汪汪地叫了一陣。這人又往前走，這回踩著的是另外一隻狗的尾巴，狗又汪汪汪地叫起來。瞎子以為還是那條狗，驚詫地說：奇怪，這隻狗可真夠長的。

　　2、A person with six children or a person with $6 million, who is better satisfied? Why?

　　一個有六個孩子的人和一個有600萬美元的人，誰更滿足?為什麼?

　　The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.

　　當然是有六個孩子的那個，因為有600萬美元那個還想要得更多。