關於好笑的英語笑話短文
日常生活中，語言是人們相互交流的基本工具，因此，很大一部分幽默效果都反映在語言層面上，笑話是幽默的語言表達。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!
篇一
Two Tickets Please
A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "
When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
篇二
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.
一天，蒂姆的數學老師他的作業，發現他全做對了。
The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.
老師很高興，同時也十分驚訝。
He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"
他把蒂姆叫到桌前說："蒂姆，你這次的作業全都做對了，怎麼回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim."
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做。"
篇三
dentist: please stop howling. i haven't even touched your tooth yet.
牙醫：請你不要再喊了!我還沒碰你的牙呢。
patient: i know, but you are standing on my foot!
病人：我知道，可是你正踩著我的腳呀!
篇四
harry and lloyd were speeding down the road. a police car pulled them over.
哈里與勞埃德超速行駛，一輛警車攔住了他們。
"why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.
“你們為什麼開那麼快?”警官喊道。
"our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!
“我們的剎車不好，因此我們想在發生事故前趕緊到達目的地。”
篇五
It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
這是一個陽光燦爛的晴朗日子，森林裡一隻小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字機上敲敲打打。這時一隻散步的狐狸走了過來。
Fox: "What are you working on?"
狐狸：“你在做什麼呢?”
Rabbit: "My thesis."
兔子：“寫我的論文。”
Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"
狐狸：“唔，是關於什麼的?”
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
兔子：“噢，我在寫兔子是怎樣吃掉狐狸的。”
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."
狐狸：“你太搞笑了吧!誰都知道兔子不吃狐狸。”
Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."
兔子：“兔子當然吃，我能證明的。跟我來。”
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.
它們一起消失在兔子的洞穴裡，幾分鐘後只有兔子獨自出來了。它回到打字機前繼續敲打。
Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
很快，一隻狼走了過來，停下看著兔子奮力工作。
Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"
狼：“你在寫什麼呢?”
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
兔子：“我在寫論文，關於兔子如何吃掉狼。”
Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
狼：“你不會指望這種垃圾論文被髮表吧!”
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
兔子：“能發表，你想知道為什麼嗎?”
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
兔子和狼一起進了洞穴，而兔子又一次獨自走了出來。幾分鐘後它繼續打字。
Inside the rabbit's burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.
兔子洞穴裡：一個角落裡是一堆狐狸骨頭，另一角落裡是一堆狼骨頭。而另一側是一隻獅子，它邊打著飽嗝，邊剔著牙齒。
It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.
論文的題目選什麼無關緊要。
It doesn't matter what you use for data.
你用什麼作為例證資料也無關緊要。
What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.
真正重要的是：你的論文導師是誰!