短一點的英語笑話

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點;笑話能反映出一個民族的價值系統及其對周圍世界肯定和否定的態度。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：The Foreman's Position 陪審團主席

　　A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant1, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess2 and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

　　The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited.

　　After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"

　　The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"

　　在一個小城市，一位法官正在審理一起酒後駕車案件。被告不僅有過酒後駕車的記錄，而且聲譽也不是太好，現在只是缺少一個陪審團作出裁決。因為已經接近下午四點，找個陪審團來會耽誤很多時間。因此，法官宣佈休庭後，就到外面隨便挑選了一些人來充當陪審團。剛一出門，他就發現大 廳剛好有12個律師，便請求他們充當陪審團。

　　聽了法官的話，這些律師們認為這將會是一次新奇的經歷，因此，便跟隨法官回到了法庭。不到10分鐘，案子就已接近尾聲，因為被告明顯是有罪的。陪審團回到陪審室進行商議，法官就等著宣佈結果，馬上回家。每個人都在等待著最後的判決。

　　大概過了3個小時，法官已經徹底失去了耐心，便派法警去看看判決為什麼耽誤了這麼久。當法警回來後，法官問他：“怎麼樣?他們是否作出了最後的判決?”

　　法警搖搖頭說：“判決?天啊，他們為了推選陪審團主席，還在進行演講呢!”

　　：light bulb

　　How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder, one to sue the ladder company.

　　："The Interview" a One-Act Play

　　Applicant: "I'm looking for a job as a consultant."

　　Employer: "I'm sorry, we already have enough consultants."

　　Applicant: "That's okay, with my experience, I can be an adviser."

　　Employer: "More than we can use already."

　　Applicant ***getting desperate***: "I'm not proud. I can do paperwork, I'll be a clerk, If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor."

　　Employer: "It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications."

　　Applicant ***stands, angrily yells***: "To work for you I'd have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!"

　　Employer: "Well, you didn't say you were an attorney! Have a seat, we may have an opening."

　　：It's Sooooo Coooooold

　　Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter's night.

　　He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.

　　Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.

　　When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, "Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place."

　　：You wont go to jail

　　A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seekingdefense. He didn?t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, %26quot;Don?t worry. You?ll never have to go to jail with all that money.? And the lawyer was right. When The man was sent to prison, he didn?t have a dime.