簡單短一點的英語笑話帶翻譯

　　英語笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創造性的語言形式,其主要功能是調侃、娛樂或諷刺。英語笑話可能涉及到的範圍很廣：生活、學習、工作、家庭和政治等等。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：The boy and the snails

　　男孩和蝸牛

　　A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"

　　一個鄉下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛後，就準備點火烤著吃。火點著了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發出“噝噝”的噪音。男孩子聽到了蝸牛發出的噓聲，便說：“你們這些連命都快沒有的傢伙，怎麼還能有心情在窩裡著火時吹口哨呢?”

　　：Hello Mother, Hello Father

　　A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parents and therefore couldn't decide who he should grant full custody to.

　　So he asks the little boy, "Would you like to live with your mother?"

　　"No." said the boy.

　　"Why not?" said the judge.

　　"Because she beats me."

　　The judge says "Okay, then you'll go live with your father."

　　"Oh no," cried the boy, "he beats me too."

　　Dumbfounded, the judge asks "Okay who do you want to live with?"

　　"I want to live with the New York Knicks!"

　　"Why?" asks the judge.

　　"They never beat anybody."

　　：The lord is my Shepherd

　　A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm.

　　After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.

　　When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

　　：Moses & The Red Sea

　　Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.

　　"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

　　"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

　　"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

　　：Higher Power

　　A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

　　One child blurted out, "Aces!"